Something amazing happened in class yesterday: one of my students told me that he had heard that if you are stranded in the wilderness and you're wearing Crocs you can boil them and eat them. I think my head may just have spun around. Let's examine all that is wrong with this statement:
1. You're wearing Crocs? Nothing else needs to be said about this one.
2. Why on earth are you in the wilderness wearing Crocs? They have holes in them for twigs to poke through and scratch your feet. Not to mention the fact that they would undoubtedly scare away the wildlife you might be hoping to see. Have you ever seen a bunny run in fear? You would if you wore Crocs into the wilderness.
3. You would even consider eating Crocs? Wearing them is bad enough, but putting them in your mouth? God help us all.
4. Crocs are important enough to have their own urban legend? I think we should start a new one: Did you hear about the new gang ritual victimizing women in malls? Croc wearers are stomping on fabulous shoes with their so not fabulous Crocs to gain entrance to the Ugly No Good Kicks Evilly Making People Tinkle gang. Unkempt, for short. *shiver*
Did you hear about the woman who was thrown out of Neiman's for fondling shoes? Oh wait, that one isn't an urban legend...
Today's favorite shoe:
Thursday, October 18, 2007