Some shoes should be against the law, and ladies! I am the hanging judge of this here town and I am going to lay down the law.
Birkenstocks? I hereby sentence you to banishment to Elba. May you never have a Waterloo and may we never hear from you again.
Crocs? I hereby sentence you to be hung by your insteps until you are dead. May no one have mercy on your soles.
SAS? I hereby sentence you to hard community service in the salt mines. And by service I mean hard labor.
White pumps? I hereby sentence you reeducation since I can see where you're trying to go. After you've reformed into something more respectable, submit yourself for inspection to this court and we shall see what we will do with you.
Let these examples be a reminder of what we do with ugly shoes in this town. Let no ugly shoe dare step foot into this shoe town and let it be known that if one does, it will be judged on the spot. They don't call us fabulous for nothing!
Today's Favorite Shoe:
Donald J. Pliner Ceel
Thursday, March 30, 2006
No Ugly Shoes!
There should be a ban on ugly shoes. You know the ones I'm talking about. The sturdy oxford, the hippie sandal/clog, the thick-heeled pumps and slides.
Worse yet, is that people wear them. I'm not sure why. I totally understand the need for comfort, and if you have problems with your feet, 3" heels are not for you. But that does not mean you must wear ugly.
Why are these shoes even made? Who comes up with these designs? Why did these designs even make it off the design table, let alone actually get manufactured?
This leads me to another thought. WHY do shoe manufacturers think that someone with large, wide feet, wants to wear ugly shoes? (or large narrow feet, but I have more options). A friend recently asked for help in finding shoes for her size 9.5 WW feet. Let me tell you, the pickins were slim. Nordstrom's had a few options. Zappos has quite a few, which is nice. But honestly, why should it be so hard? Why should a young attractive woman who cannot help her shoe size be relegated to the dregs of shoe fashion?
Shoe manufacturers, take heed! You are missing out on a huge market. If you made more attractive shoes available to women with hard to fit feet, you'd make a boatload of cash. I guarantee it.
Linea Paolo 'Deandra' Flat
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
I, like so many others, enjoy running through the rain and stomping in puddles. I also enjoy pretending to be Gene Kelly, though I think I look pretty ridiculous when I try to sing and dance in the rain. However, whether you're doing your best Liesl a la Gene Kelly impression or you're just trying to get from your car to Neiman's, you really have to remember that your shoes deserve better than a giant puddle and a watery grave. Death by puddle is no way for a fabulous pair of shoes to go.
Let's be honest, we can't control everything in life and the weather is one of those very uncontrollable things. Does this mean that we should sacrifice fashion for foot protection? Well, sort of. I see nothing wrong with admitting that the weather is preventing us from wearing our most fabulous shoes and strapping on a pair of rain boots for the road. I also see nothing wrong with changing your shoes once you get to your destination. Please remember though that it is impolite to puddle on peoples' floors, so change your shoes immediately, if at all possible. But not in front of others! That would be indelicate.
Excuse me, it looks like rain outside and I need to practice my Gene Kelly steps. If you're driving down the road and you see a red headed woman doing her best to dance like Gene Kelly and failing miserably, honk if you love shoes!
Today's Favorite Shoe:
Laurence Dacade Feric
What to wear in the rain?
Although it's been pretty dry in these parts this month, we all know that spring showers are coming. What do you wear on your feet when it rains? I notice people wear sneakers a lot. Or just their regular shoes. Or, on occasion, a boot. One of my favorite trends in the past couple of years are brightly colored rainboots. So much more cheery.
There's something to be said for regressing back to your childhood by wearing rainboots. They are also empowering. Screw you, rain, my feet are not going to get wet! This is especially key in Manhattan, where you need to walk a lot. If you're not protecting your feet, you will have very damp tootsies. That is never good. The specter of athlete's foot looms, along with modly socks, and horrors of horrors - stinkfoot.
One of the things I hate most about Manhattan in the rain are the big puddles near the street corners. Cabs often take those corners close and at a high rate of speed, which means if you're standing too close - not only are your feet soaked, but the rest of you is too. Gross.
So next time it rains, do yourself a favor. Wear something bright and cheery. It's bad enough that it's dark and damp, no need for your feet to suffer too.
Tamara Henriques Pink Toile Kitten Heel Boot
Thursday, March 23, 2006
If you are dressed in a drop dead fabulous outfit complete with 4-inch heels and your date shows up and is shorter than you in those aforementioned heels, should you change shoes? Does a man's ego take precedence over a fabulous pair of shoes?
I say, unequivocally, no. We don't need men in our lives who are intimidated by fabulous shoes; and that's really what it comes down to: it's always the shoes that scare them. If we are not naturally taller than them but are taller when we wear a fabulous pair of Louboutins, then it is the shoes they can't handle.
When Nicole Kidman went on Oprah after her split from the vertically challenged Tom Cruise she mentioned that one of the perks of being without him is her ability to wear heels. I had to wonder why she allowed the Scientology challenged Cruise to bully her into wearing lower heels. Is he so bound up with Thetans that he can't take the competition from Manolos? Is he, indeed, simply not fabulous enough to stand next to fabulousness in its true form: shoes?
We have to ask ourselves: why would we want to be with a man who is afraid of little slices of fabulous?
Today's Favorite Shoe:
Monday, March 20, 2006
Beautiful shoes make us feel better. I am willing to stand by that categorical statement until my dying day. I have pillowcases that say something like, "Love is like a walk through Paris in very special shoes." That sentiment is really very profound, in my opinion; we love ourselves far more when we feel like there is something special and beautiful about us; why not let that specialness center on our feet?
I think most women have at least one pair of shoes that we regard as our special shoes; the shoes we reserve for when we need to look and feel simply fabulous. What draws us to shoes? It isn't the way they look like they'd be comfortable. It isn't the way they look like you could wear them forever. No. What draws us to shoes are the fabulous lines and colors and the hint that they give us that we are special enough to deserve to wear them. They whisper to us in leather and wood: you deserve that man you've been secretly in love with, you deserve that promotion, you deserve that freshening face lift and most of all, you deserve me. You deserve to walk with the confidence of knowing you have fabulous shoes and they are taking you anywhere you want to go.
Now strut those shoes like your bad self knows you're fabulous!
Today's Favorite Shoe:
Charles David Myth
How Shoes Make You Feel Good
As I commute in to the city every day, I make mental notes on the shoes I see people wearing. The past couple of weeks have been sad. Very sad. All drab, worn, tired looking shoes. I think people have had it with cold weather, and their feet are showing it.
When I wear one of my less fabulous pairs of shoes, I feel less fabulous. I might be comfortable, but I know I don't look my best. Sometimes that's just laziness on my part, and sometimes, I feel lousy and don't care if I look it.
This is exactly the time you must revolt against the sad shoe. Your shoes reflect you. If your shoes are worn out, so are you. Never underestimate the power of a great pair of shoes to make you feel good. When I put on my favorite boots, I stop slouching and stand tall. The fact that they have 3" heels helps in that department, but I digress. I walk with an attitude, and people take me seriously. They might also be afraid of me. If I kicked someone in the nuts with those pointy toes, I could mar them for life.
When I wear my sexy silver sandals, they make me feel great. They finish off my favorite evening outfit with panache. They also look great with jeans.
Shoes are the reflection of the inner you. Who do you want to be today?
BCBG Max Azria 'Nola' Sandal
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Instead of giving something up for Lent as the Catholics do, I asked myself what I would give up for fabulous shoes. I made a list:
Going to movies
Home alarm service
This is where I am giving up on that list. Those are all things I really like, mind you. I am truly willing to suffer for fabulous shoes. I think I should be the Patron Saint of Shoes. Don't you?
Today's Favorite Shoe:
Amy Jo Gladstone Bow Slipper
Liesl and I have been contemplating what we would give up for shoes. I really had to give some thought to it. Some choices were obvious. Chocolate, for one. I like it, but not that much, and if I gave it up for shoes, I'd have the added benefit of a smaller ass. Wine? Definitely not. I would never give up my wine. Even for shoes. There are some lines that cannot be crossed. Besides that, what good is looking fabulous in your shoes if you aren't accessorizing with a glass of wine at a sidewalk cafe in Manhattan in the spring? Dinner? I could give up food for shoes. Not all food, but skipping a meal now and again in order to have the shoes I want doesn't seem a bad tradeoff. Books? Never. Clothes? Well, if it's a toss up between gorgeous shoes and a new article of clothing, the shoes will win every single time. Bills? Maybe. Once upon a time I wouldn't have batted an eye at putting off paying the electric bill so I could have new shoes. Now that I'm a homeowner, that's changed. I have to be a responsible adult. No matter how much it hurts.
This all leads me to something I would definitely give up for shoes. Sleep. In fact, I did so this morning. I sleep with the TV on. At about 5:40 this morning (an ungodly hour to be sure), something woke me up. I was slightly disoriented because commercials were on, and I was trying to figure out why I woke up. The mystery was solved, as the newscast came back and the segment topic was hot spring shoe trends. I immediately became fully alert, and paid close attention. Obviously, they had promoted the segment before the commercial break, which made it through the mists of sleep into my brain.
For the record, the hot shoe trends for spring are chunky heels, platforms, wedges and espadrilles. Also ankle straps of all types.
Today's favorite shoe:
Lauren by Ralph Lauren 'Amelie' Espadrille
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
As Spring begins to take over little by little here in NYC, people start to get antsy. Mind, spring is still a week away. Snow is forecast for St. Patrick's Day. Yet, people are starting to jump the gun on their footwear. You know what I'm talking about. At the first sign of warm weather, they bring out the sandals. I understand this urge, truly I do. I want my feet to feel free as much as the next person. However, no matter how badly I want to, I don't indulge. Why? It's not even freakin' St. Patrick's Day yet!
Friends, if you live in the cooler climes of the United States, you must resist the urge to flaunt those toes when it's still March. It looks silly. Not to mention, many of you have not been keeping your feet in good condition over the winter, so I am subjected to your nasty toenails and scaly heels. Spare me. Please.
There is one exception to this, of course. Evening wear. You may wear evening sandals year 'round, if you like.
When can you bring out all those cute shoes? Mid-April is the earliest, I think. And then only if we're having an unusually warm spring. Otherwise, we're talking May. It's best for the leaves to be on the trees before your toes peek out of your shoes. You can then wear your sandals with impunity until the temperatures drop back into the low 60's, and the leaves turn to the golden colors of fall.
By then, you'll be ready for all the new boot styles that will be out.
Nordstrom 'Kenya' Sandal
Several years ago I traveled home to Texas in November for a weekend visit with my mom. As I prepared to leave the house with mom for a party she took one look at my feet and made me change my shoes. Now, I'm a grown woman but I let her have her way and changed from my sandals to shoes she considered more appropriate for November. So, the question I have to ask is, are sandals the new white after labor day conundrum?
Many young girls are instructed by their mother that wearing white after labor day in the United States is an etiquette faux pas. What I wonder now is if wearing sandals in the dead of winter is going to be as accepted as winter white. I think most women know that wearing sandals in a snow storm is foolish but what if the weather is uncharacteristically balmy in February? Is it OK to strap on some strappies and prance down Park Avenue? Is global warming going to change the way we see fashion forever?
I think the true litmus test for sandal wearing should be something like, if your sandals are going to force you to dethaw your piglets when you get inside, then it's probably not a good idea to wear them. Or, if your sandal wearing is going to make you fall due to the ice and or mud, it's probably not a good idea. Of course, when there's ice and mud you wouldn't want to wear your fabulous strappies anyway, would you? In other words, there is a point where suffering for fashion really becomes fashion suffering because of you.
I have to wonder if these sandal wearing women in the dead of winter are trying to fool mother nature into thinking it is time for spring. Look ma! No socks!
Today's Favorite Shoe:
Thursday, March 09, 2006
I don't have true shoe emergencies; I have a general state of alarm between my shoes and my feet.
A friend of mine recently told me that she had thought of me and this blog when she wore cute little mules to work one day, forgetting that she was going to be doing a lot of walking. She ended up having to go to Target (happy place) to buy a new pair of shoes that wouldn't betray her feet.
There's the rub: shoes betray my feet every step of the way. Shoes invariably rub the skin off of my toes or heels or pinch my toes into deformity. Imagine trying to walk around with piglets so scrunched together that you feel like you're walking on a solid mass of flesh rather than an elegant foot with perfect little toes. I have elegant feet, for the most part; my feet are probably the type of feet shoe designers have in mind when they design shoes. They are long and narrow with very high arches. If I could live my life elegantly allowing shoe salesmen (yes, men) to elegantly slip elegant shoes on my elegant feet, I'd be happy. However, life is not an elegant Fred Astaire movie, now, is it?
So, I wistfully dream of the day when a master shoe craftsman (yes, man) will come to me and beg me to allow him to make shoes for my perfect, slender, little feet. He will lovingly slip the final product onto my ever-so-slightly trembling feet and we will both know that anything is possible. Anything, that is, as long as your shoes don't pinch.
Today's Favorite Shoe:
Will's Fancy Calla
Today, I had that most unfortunate of occurences - the shoe emergency. I know you are all on the edge of your seats, wondering just what went amiss.
I had just disembarked from the train, and was heading to the ladies room. As I walked across the terminal, I suddenly found myself slipping and sliding, flailing my arms about in a most amusing manner to the travelers who were seated and watching my progress. Happily, I did not fall, but I did look like an ass. Upon reaching the relative safety of the ladies room, I removed the offending shoe (an adorable black, pointy toe-d, kitten heeled pump) to see whether the problem was me or the floor. It was me. My poor shoe had lost its little plastic heel, and the metal pin was all that was left. No wonder I slipped!
What to do? There was nothing for it but to put the shoe back on, and make my way back across the terminal as best I could to my subway train. This was accomplished with no further incident, by mincing across the floor on the balls of my feet. Once I got off the subway at 23rd Street, I made my way directly down the block to the cobbler, who, upon hearing my dilemma, repaired the heels for the sum of $8.50.
The moral of the story? There are two. One, know where the closest cobbler is. Two, check your shoes for wear and tear BEFORE you put them on for the day.
Na Na 'Tapan' Pump
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Like any lover of fashion, I watch the Oscars every year. I used to have to skip the preshow since the most annoying two women on the planet had a lock on hosting it, Joan and Melissa Rivers. It was a banner day in the McQ household when they were booted. I'm sure they were booted with a nice pair of Uggs to soften the humiliation. Anyway...
I am always perturbed by the lack of coverage on the shoes under the beautiful gowns. The Stuart Weitzman shoe is always highlighted but that's the only one I've ever seen particularly respected. It's time for that to change.
Look, I know it's mostly about the gowns; they are the most visible, the largest thing your eye would go to, especially this year in Charlize Theron's case, but come on! The shoes need some respect, too. Think of how much better it would have been if someone had just panned down to Charlize Theron's shoes rather than focusing on that godawful bow.
What treasures lurk beneath those reams of silk and chiffon? Are they secretly wearing Pumas? Was Sandra Bullock wearing granny flats so as not to upstage Keanu Reeves? Was Jessica Alba wearing most of her weight on her feet? God knows she isn't wearing it anywhere else. Would we be shunning Isaac Mizrahi now if he had touched Scarlett Johansson's feet instead of her boob?
My point is this: Give the shoes a little more respect and we will all lead happier, healthier and wealthier lives. And no one will ever again have to wash their mind out with bleach after watching Isaac cop a feel.
Today's Favorite Shoe:
Isaac Mizrahi Stellare
Oscar shoe fashion. What is it? Where is it? The gowns have been done to death. Let's face it - the shoe should have equal billing to the gowns. If not more. It's unfortunate that so many women wear gowns that hide their shoes. They could be wearing Birks underneath for all we know! THE HORROR.
I've been perusing the web, attempting to find pictures of the shoes that were worn. So far, I've come up with this:
Those shoes rock. The gown? Notsomuch. But the shoes! They are fabulous!
So I've just spent some time looking for more pictures of Oscar shoes. They are few and far between, I'm afraid. How disappointing. The shoes make the dress, people. If you are wearing bad shoes, your dress won't look right.
We can look at Stuart Weitzman's Oscar shoe though. It's gorgeous.
I wish he'd design a shoe for me. Hint. Hint.
Linea Paolo 'Maisey' Mule
Monday, March 06, 2006
First, I must apologize for my tardiness in updating. Life has been in the way. While it certainly should not take precedence over shoes, sometimes, it cannot be avoided.
That said, I must discuss the poor shoe choices I've seen over the past week. Liesl has already contributed, and I shall do the same. Hereafter, this will be an ongoing feature of our blog. We call it:
WWIMD? (What Would Imelda Marcos Do?)
My first culprit:
I was waiting for my train to arrive. It was 8:30 AM. It was bright, sunny, and very, very cold. Very cold. It is March in New York after all, and I live north of the city, where it is often a good 10-15 degrees colder than in Manhattan. This woman appears. I see her often. She irritates me. She has one of those grating, nasally NY accents, and always speaks at a high volume. But I digress. It is her footwear I want to discuss. Slides. 2 1/2" heel slides. As in sandals. As in summer. Worn with, you guessed it, pantyhose. How she didn't break her leg slipping around on them, I don't know. So there was this vision - a bulky down coat, scarf, mittens and summer sandals.
PEOPLE. Use your head.
My second culprit:
This sighting was just last night on 6th Avenue and 22nd Street. There were a lot of things wrong - I think the shoes might have been the least of this woman's problems.
Faux leopard swing coat
The shoes? Loafers.
Lady, if you're going to dress like a slut, at least wear the right shoes. That outfit was begging for very, very high heels. Either wedges or stiletto's.
Marc Jacobs '663155 Flat'
Saturday, March 04, 2006
Suz jinxed me the other day before I left for work. She told me about a bad shoe faux pas which, in turn, made me run into a young lady with a worse shoe faux pas. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it is time for the bad shoe decision round up.
I live in Dallas where most people are pretty good about their footwear choices. However, as I was walking across campus on Wednesday I saw a young woman wearing a short black skirt, black stockings, and... oh the horror of it.... WHITE PUMPS. Madonna singing Like A Virgin on the MTV Video Music Awards white pumps. Why on god's green earth would anyone think that white pumps look good? Why?
I'm not talking about tasteful, understated white pumps, or even off white pumps. No, no. I am talking about the bright, cheap looking pumps that were somehow popular in the 80s. Madonna looked trashy in them in 1984 and anyone who wears them now will look trashy. Do you think Manolo will ever make a pair of white pumps and sell them at Neiman's? No! Would you ever see Audrey Hepburn in a pair of white pumps? No! Would you ever see Coco Chanel in white pumps? No! Will you ever see me in a pair of white pumps? HELL NO!
Do you think I should have tapped this young woman on the shoulder, pointed at her feet and shook my head with a disapproving look on my face?
Today's favorite shoe:
Yves Saint Laurent Linen Slingback