Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Liesl, 7N

I saw something today that made me do a double take and therefore crash into a wall. A brisk paced walk and a double take do not a good idea make. So, after I crashed into the wall and went on my way I started to get a little peeved. Was I peeved to have "mall beige" paint chips in my hair? No. Was I peeved to have looked like an ass in public? No. I was peeved because I had seen a tween wearing brand new for spring Tory Burch ballet flats.

I am not an envious or even jealous person by nature. However, when I see a kid who can't possibly know the true value of fabulous shoes wearing shoes I can't afford, something just seems wrong in the world. The world is upside down, as it were. Yes, I know it isn't the tween who can afford them since we are in Dallas, not L.A., where many teens make more than their parents, but still! I was wearing my, albeit fabulous, black mules of the moment and I felt somehow less.

Am I saying that only those who can appreciate fabulous shoes should have them? Yes, yes I am. Would you hang a Pizarro in pool hall? OK, maybe you would, but I would not. There are too many things that harm art in pool halls, bad taste being one of them. Oh, was that out loud? Anyway, I think there might be a need for a test before being able to buy fabulous shoes. My test would have one question: how do the shoes make you feel? A true shoe lover will be able to give a dissertation on how the shoe makes them feel and will therefore deserve the shoes. I suspect if I had asked the tween why she liked the shoes she was wearing she would have told me, if she were honest, that they were in style. That is simply not good enough. After all, jellies are in style.

I am not advocating a class system for shoes. I, like many fine people, believe that art belongs to the masses. That does mean that we should sell off the Guggenheim's collection of Warhol at basement prices. We put these things in museums for a reason. While there is a shoe museum, it isn't practical to force us all to go to a museum to see shoes; after all, they are meant to be worn. I just think that the people who love shoes for the little pieces of fabulous that they are (me) should have them and everyone else should wait until they understand the true meaning of fabulous shoes. In other words, fabulous shoes always deserve appreciative feet.

Fabulous shoes should not be wasted on the young.

Today's favorite shoe:
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Christian Louboutin

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Suz 10N

I was watching the news this morning, luxuriating in my newly laid-off status. Oh, to loll around with my coffee in the morning, instead of getting up at 4:30 AM to maintain my girlish figure! It's fabulous! Well, not really. I can't afford to buy any shoes at this time. I must wait until I am gainfully employed once more.

I have had to refrain from even looking at the Nordstrom and Zappos sites. I must pinch pennies. I must not buy more shoes. I must not think bad thoughts.

This poses a dilemma, of course. I was just getting ready to purchase my spring/summer footwear when I was rudely ejected from my place of employment. Ok, they weren't rude, they were very nice and gave me a good package, so I really can't bitch too much.

But my spring/summer footwear is...last years! The HORROR. Thank God Liesl gifted me with a lovely pair of pink patent leather peeptoes with a kitten heel as an early birthday present or I would be sunk.

Did I mention I was watching the news this morning? Yes I did. I failed, however, to tell you about the story that caught my eye. Dear friends, it is an amazing tale. It's almost too good to be true. If I didn't see it with my own eyes, I wouldn't have believed it.

Are you ready? Are you really ready? Are you sitting down? Better yet, are you posing in a pair of sassy Manolos? You are? Good.

Saks is opening a new shoe floor. With 10,000 pairs of shoes. The size of an entire New York City block. In fact, faithful readers, this floor will have it's own zip code. 10022-SHOE. Yes! Our government has finally done something right! A zip code dedicated to shoes! It's no coincidence that the Democrats have taken over the House and the Senate, and now we have a zip code dedicated to shoes. They know what they're doing.

Today's Shoe

Dior Point Toe Pumps

Liesl, 7N

I was walking through Northpark the other day and I was thinking about how much fun it would be to do a shoe tour of Dallas. That gave me the idea for this post: Liesl's Extra Special Dallas Shoe Tour. Join me, fabulosas!

I pick you up in my Lexus at 10:00 A.M. I chose that time because it is a civilized time and it gives you enough time to get up, have your scones and coffee and get ready for our fabulous day. Please be advised: fabulous shoes only in my presence. Off we go! Shall we open the sun roof? Let's! Can you feel the wind in your hair and sun on your face as I whiz down the freeway? Aaah, refreshing!

Our first stop will be at Fossee's where we will spend two hours meticulously looking through the racks and on the floor for some fabulous shoes. It takes two hours because they often have shoes in other sizes that are mismarked and fit us. Sometimes the staff can hover, in a nice way, but we will take our time. Savor the dream of finding a perfect pair of kitten heeled pumps. As we search and search we will find at least three pairs of shoes we cannot live without. Time to pay! Isn't it lovely when our total is less than we expected because the prices are so good?

We leave Fossee's and head to Northpark. We park on the north side of the mall so that we can stop for lunch at Kona Grill. The Macadamia Nut Chicken is to die for. After we have sated our appetite for food, we head off to try to sate our appetite for shoes. We head west in the mall toward Nordstrom's. At Nordstrom's we spend two more hours delicately stroking the shoes and trying on as many pairs of fabulous shoes as possible. The salespeople at Nordstrom's are wonderful and they will treat us wonderfully. I will choose three pairs of shoes that I simply must have and I will pick our four for you. If you are smart, and I know you are, you will buy them. It's time to move on.

We now head south in the mall toward Neiman's. Before we hit the shoe floor we stop and take some refreshment at The Mermaid Bar n the ground floor. We will have an assortment of cakes and sweet tea. We will also be able to see some early examples of art by Bjorn Wiinblad who used this particular shoe girl as the model for his angels when she was a baby. Little known fact, don't you know.

After we have refreshed ourselves we head upstairs to the shoe department. By now you've probably spent a fair amount of money so I will only pick out one pair of shoes for you. As we reverently gaze at the gorgeous pieces of art in the shoe department we happen upon that perfect pair of Ferragamos that you simply must buy. You cannot leave the store without them in your bag. Oh, heaven!

It is finally time to leave Northpark and head to DSW. Now, I realize we are going from the sublime to the just plain pretty, but that's OK; we need to bring ourselves down a bit before we go back to our normal lives. As we head into the store we will immediately find two or three pairs of casual shoes we can't live without. We limit ourselves to five pairs since it is getting late and we are close to exhaustion. We manage to make it through the whole story and find six pairs, which we think we will go ahead and get since the prices are too good to pass up.

As we make our way back to your house with a trunk full of shoes we will know that we had a remarkably successful shoe tour. As I drop you at your house and you collect all of your packages, savor the moment as I must dash off into the night, never to return, to help other fabulosas with their shoe needs. I am as the wind, gone in an instant, leaving behind the smell of fabulous shoes.

My tour should be in the Guinness Book of World Records as the most fabulous.

Today's favorite shoe:
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Salvatore Ferragamo

Monday, May 21, 2007

Liesl, 7N

Oh, News 8.... what have you done? I was driving home from shoe shopping today and happened to hear a teaser for a story on our local news. What could this teaser promise that would cause me to DVR the news, you ask? A story about Crocs. I thought, surely! Dallas news, the place of pure news fluff and high fashion would have on a true story of foam gone mad. But no. It was all about how wonderful and comfortable the little pieces of pure ugly were and how popular they remain.

The medical claims that the manufacturers of Crocs make are bogus. A shoe cannot cure diseases or conditions; shoes can only make you happy. With that in mind, can you see how Crocs have absolutely no value? There is no way madness made real in foam can make a person happy. No one is made happy by garish Minnie Mouse shoes with holes in them. Any happiness you think you feel is akin to the feeling you get when you think your true love is Brad Pitt and you happen to meet a man who kind of resembles him and who tells you that he wants you to climb his big ol' Himalaya.

Come on people, let yourself be happy for once. I know we all grow up and acquire baggage (ugly Samsonite baggage) that makes us think we don't deserve happiness. Is this where the Croc fad comes from? Are you all wearing your insecurity on your feet? The truth is, we all deserve happiness and we can only get that happiness from fabulous shoes. Trade in your Crocs and your ugly Samsonite baggage for some Louboutins and Diane Von Furstenberg luggage. Why not have Brad Pitt instead of the cheap knock off? Don't you see? as long as you wear those hideous shoes you will believe that you do not deserve better in life. But you do.

If love is a great beautifier, can you imagine how much love you would feel in fabulous shoes.

Today's favorite shoe:
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Luciano Padovan "7011"

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Brief addendum to my last post: I cannot multitask. Between my haste to get out the door to drive by more houses that might someday have the pleasure of housing my fabulous shoes, trying to email Manolo about Proust (a writer more self absorbed than me? nuh uh!), and singing along to Cole Porter songs at the top of my voice I managed to publish a post with numerous grammatic errors. Should it be grammatical? Anyway, I do humbly apologize.

Liesl, 7N

I've noticed a trend that seems interesting to me: African American women tend to wear really fabulous shoes. If I look at a group of women and there is just one pair of fabulous shoes among them, nine times out of ten they will be worn by a fabulous African American woman.

Do I think this has anything to do with the amount of melanin a person has in their skin? of course not. I do think this fabulous shoe trend has everything to do with culture. This thought inevitably led me to wonder about the role culture plays in a true love of shoes.

Is there a shoe culture? As I have stated previously, you can tell when a woman truly loves shoes when you compliment her on her shoes. I compliment women on their shoes all the time and I am always amazed by the women who don't really care about their little pieces of fabulous. Then there are the ones who clearly do love them. I complimented a woman yesterday who launched into an expository speech about why she can now wear heels since she is dating a tall man. She also told me she wished she were short so that heels would do even more for her. That's my kind of woman: a woman who sees value in herself and her attributes through her shoes. That woman was definitely part of the shoe culture. I am part of the shoe culture. Are you?

Like all good cultures, we need an icon. I nominate Manolo.

Today's favorite shoe:
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Gunmetal "1606"

Monday, May 14, 2007

Liesl, 7N

We have been casually looking at houses lately and I have found myself assessing the fitness of a house based on the closet space. The front runner is a 4 bedroom in need of some love that has given me visions of making one of the bedrooms into a closet. That way, I might have a proper place for all of my shoes. The challenge will be in convincing my husband to buy a fixer upper in a neighborhood that is surrounded by some not so good neighborhoods.

The house that I love, as I mentioned, is in need of some serious love. It was built in 1968 and hasn't had any updating nor has it been maintained. It is architecturally designed (so important) and needs someone like me to love it back into fabulousness. Here's the thing: the master bedroom has a bathroom attached which is also attached to another bedroom. Clearly, that other bedroom is meant to be my closet. I have decided that I will have spot lighting in that closet to highlight my shoes. Can you picture it? Warm light bathing my fabulous shoes in a room designed just for them; the thought is too delicious to contemplate.

I need help convincing my husband that this fixer upper is the way to go. Email him with your excellent arguments here: mr_gonzo at hotmail dot com. Come on fabulosas! do it for the shoes!

Today's favorite shoe:
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Donna Karan "864824"

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Liesl, 7N

I had a small crisis on Tuesday. I've been so upset about it since then that I haven't even talked about it to Suz. I went shoe shopping with my friend Jen and found a gorgeous pair of ribbon sandals. They fit well and they were just so luxurious and pretty. I carried them around the store with me as we looked at the rest of the shoes. As we were getting ready to pay and leave I decided that the ribbon sandals were impractical and I put them back. After I had put the shoes back I realized what I had done and had a small break down. It was the first time I had chosen not to buy shoes because they were impractical. It was then that I reached for the Xanax.

Let me make this very clear: there is nothing wrong with buying impractical shoes. In fact, I encourage it. Impractical shoes remind us that life isn't about utility and has some unexpected, beautiful, impractical yet fabulous elements to it. Isn't that wonderful? What's practical about music? What's practical about the Mona Lisa? What's practical about 4-inch heels? But it doesn't matter because they are all fabulous. If we all wore only practical shoes we'd be wearing tennies everywhere. *shiver*

I ended up searching for another pair of shoes to make up for the ribbon sandals. I found a very cute pair of leopard print slides that are by the same designer who made the black slides I found a month ago. I am slowly replacing all of the Madden slides the dogs chewed up. I felt much better after finding another pair of fabulous slides and avoided the Xanax coma I would have induced to get over the horror of utility I had enacted. To hell with practicality!

Darling fabulosas, there is nothing practical about a leopard print.

Today's favorite shoe:
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Manolo Blahnik

Monday, May 07, 2007

Liesl, 7N

I had another shoe dream a few nights ago. I was at some market type place with lots of booths of different things to buy, sort of like the antique fairs I love so much. I found a booth that was selling Louboutins at cut rate prices. I think I teeteed myself a little bit in the dream with excitement.

Here's the odd part: my mom was there and she bought a pair of neon pink cowboy boots for $105. While it's odd that my mother would buy a pair of pink cowboy boots, the truly odd part is the idea that Christian Louboutin would make pink cowboy boots. I have nothing against cowboy boots, they have their place. If you are going to a John Travolta retrospective that is featuring Urban Cowboy, for example. Or, if you are going off to find yourself on a "dude" ranch for a week of brushing horses and severe indigestion from camp food. I will never understand how dirty horses and beans can lead to some sort of soulful epiphany, but then, I don't venture off the pavement onto the unbeaten path where you could get bitten by horse flies.

Anyway, after my mom left with her ridiculous boots I tried on a pair of 2-inch pumps that not only fit perfectly (think Cinderella made real) but were more comfortable than any shoe has ever been or will ever be. Now for the injustice of the dream: they were $400. I was furious, I mean, furious that the stupid cowboy boots were affordable and the ones that I needed were the ones I couldn't afford. I was so distraught I momentarily considered buying the pink boots, but then realized that that wouldn't do me any good since I wouldn't ever be on that dude ranch or sitting in the audience at a John Travolta retrospective.

I honestly believed that not being able to afford the perfect Louboutins was a great injustice. I even woke up crying. I suspect the shoes in my dream were a metaphor for another injustice I suffered recently and to be perfectly honest, the thought of not being able to afford the perfect Louboutins was far more traumatic. Shoes trump everything else. Clearly. I want those damn shoes!

The greatest injustice I have suffered in my life is not being able to afford an entire closet full of Louboutins. Life can be so unfair.

Today's favorite shoe:
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Christian Louboutin, of course.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Liesl, 7N

This weekend is the weekend of hats. You know what I'm talking about! it's Kentucky Derby weekend. I love seeing the coverage of the ladies in their fabulous hats every year at the races; they are always so colorful, bodacious, glamorous, and good old fashioned fun. All of the coverage of the hats got me to thinking: why isn't there an event that is all about shoes?

I've decided to designate an event as the event where women wear fabulous shoes and we all take notice. Not that I think we shouldn't do that everyday, but you know what I mean. I've thought long and hard about the perfect event; I considered opening night at the Met, opening night of fashion week, Burning Man, and the Sag awards. None of those events truly could do justice to shoes, though. I finally decided that the perfect day for a national shoe event is April 26th.

Follow along. Did you know that there is a patron saint of shoemakers? There is! saint Crispin. Now, as some of you may know I am a big fan of Shakespeare. Some people say that you can find whatever you need in life in the Bible; I feel that is equally or more true of Shakespeare. If you've ever read Henry V then you know where I am going with this:

We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition:
And gentlemen in England now a-bed
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.

I think we can all agree that this speech is a fine example of what it is to be human, to be good and to recognize all that is dear in life. Shakespeare (Edward de Vere, ahem!) recognized all of those things and made them real and fine in words. Who better to celebrate in our celebration of shoes? The master of fine art and the ultimate creation in art!

I propose an international Shakespeare/Shoe event every April 26th; Shakespeare will be performed in fabulous shoes and the women in the audience will attend in fabulous shoes. Oh, I think I just had a small stroke at the thought of it! Think of it: all that is good in life in one place! Shoes, art, Shakespeare, me. Oh, it is too delicious to contemplate.

All that glistens may not be gold but all that is fabulous belongs to shoes.

Today's favorite shoe:
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Charles David "Forecast"