Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Liesl, 7N

We just received this in email from "Peter Haskins" who appeared to want us to learn about a newspaper in Iowa from the subject line (not quoted here, obviously):

"to learn how those

Hello. What's up? Email me at only. I am girlie. I would like to share some of my pics.
"In the current environment where is not obliged to discover discretion in relation"

Well Peter, I hate to tell you this, but we're not interested in "girlies" or your "pics." Also, we wonder what your discretion is in relation to as you seemed to be interrupted mid-sentence. Did you need to go place an ad in that Iowa newspaper? did you need to take more pictures? Or did someone walk by wearing some fabulous shoes? I hope it is the latter; if it is indeed the latter, maybe we''ll be a little more interested in your pictures. But only from the ankles down. Mmmm'kay, pumpkin?

Also: Beckie, Melissa, and Roslyn? We're sorry you're bored. Have you considered shoe shopping as a way to pass your time and alleviate your boredom? We think that if you have time to take all of the pictures you mentioned you might have enough time to find that perfect pair of 4-inch peep toes. It's a win/win situation: you get some fabulous shoes and you alleviate that awful boredom that seems to be a huge affliction for young internet users. We're here to help.

Now on to something far more important: I am calling for a boycott of BMW. I saw a commercial yesterday that showed a woman bringing home a new pair of heels with red soles; you know who that is supposed to represent. Anyway, she takes the right shoe and cuts the heel most of the way off so that she can drive her BMW with more room.

I ask you now to stand with me against something that horrible. I ask you to pledge not to buy a BMW until they issue an apology for such a gross misrepresentation of humanity. I ask you to destroy the BMWs you already own and send their scarred and damaged carcasses directly back to the people with black little souls who made that car. I ask you to send the makers of the evil car an email and express your outrage over their heinous 30 second ad for all that is base and evil in humanity. Write them. Tell them how wrong they are and demand a public apology, as I have. Make them feel your wrath in the tips of their toes that are probably shoved into very bad shoes. We must stand together against the tyranny of the base and priorityless.

I'd feel sorry for their bad shoe state at BMW if they hadn't encouraged people to desecrate all that is good in life.

Today's favorite shoe:
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Via Spiga "Woo"

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Liesl, 7N

We all do it. We do it when we're out in public; we do it when we're home watching TV or playing online; we do it when we're at work; we do it when we're in school. We do it with impunity, we do it without guilt, we do it because we can and because it is simply our nature. What is it? We judge others.

They say that women dress for other women, not men. It's true. You can usually tell the difference in women who dress for men and those who dress for women; we have a tendency to call the women who dress for men slutty dressers. Don't deny it, you've at least thought it. Last night we saw a woman in a pair of tight jeans and a tank top who looked like she had balloons in her shirt. I've never seen someone push their breasts up and out THAT much. My husband even said, "she has to be a stripper." Were we wrong? Would you have tut tutted us for taking a second look and thinking that she looked ridiculous and tarty?

We write this blog in critique and adulation of shoes. I admit, the love of shoes can be seen to be shallow if that is all you love. But there is nothing wrong with loving pretty things and stating that love for everyone to see. There is also nothing wrong with pointing out fashion dos and don'ts to try and spread beauty around you. No one is making a character judgment on people who practice fashion don'ts. OK, maybe we are on Crocs wearers. But aside from them, if you get caught going to the store in your PJs and people judge you as sloppily dressed, we're not saying you're a bad person or in need of personal violence. We are only saying that you are a fashion don't and you don't look your best. So, if you ever get caught in a fashion don't, don't take it personally, just correct your ways and it will all be ok. We're here to help, not harm.

Of course, if I judge you, you should get down on your knees and thank me for bestowing my fashion knowledge on you and helping you to become a better person.

Today's favorite shoe:
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Dolce and Gabbana

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Liesl, 7N

I was reading a relatively old People magazine today and came across an interview with Sarah Jessica Parker. As we all know, SJP is a fashion icon, especially when it comes to shoes. I love her ideas for her new line of clothes and I love that nothing is over $20. I do believe that fashion should be affordable and I also believe that you can look fabulous on a limited budget if you have some creativity. But that all strays from the point; I was devastated to find that SJP herself has fallen off of her pedestal made of shoe boxes and is now residing in the land of easy comfort over style. She lets her son wear Crocs.

Et tu, Brute? Why? Why would she betray us so? She knows the value of wearable art in shoes! She knows! Oh, cruel SJP, you have wounded me forever. No longer will I watch my beloved Sex and The City complete set DVDs in the pink case with the knowledge that you understand, both professionally and personally, the importance of fabulous shoes. Henceforth, I will replace you in my mind's eye with someone more worthy of my esteem, like Heidi Klum, who clearly doesn't count because she's a model and therefore has to know these things and live them, unlike the rest of us, even actresses, who know these things because we are just that smart and fabulous. Maybe I will replace you with Oprah. I know she has a bajillion dollars and probably doesn't do a lick of shopping herself, but damn it! I'm desperate!

Fate, tragedy, comedy, philosophy, shoes, the whole crazy thing called life. What is it for? I ask you! Is it worth living when the icons of all that is good and fabulous in this world betray our trust and allow the very unfabulous into their lives? Shall we all throw ourselves onto our divans and mourn the loss of style and class in the world? No, I say we fight it. Fight for the shoes and fabulosity of women everywhere. In fact, let's start a shoerrism movement. Some people might throw red paint on fur coats; we'll throw bunion remedies on people who wear Crocs. They might as well announce to the world that they have them, right? Instead of stocking a bunker with canned goods and survivalist knives that do everything from skin a frog to plunge a toilet, we'll stock up on the latest in fabulous shoes. Oh yes! we will fight you! And we will win! Why? Because we're fabulous. Duh.

I can get down with a fringe movement that focuses on shoes.

Today's favorite shoe:
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Salvatore Ferragamo

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Liesl, 7N

I was sitting on the balcony of my mother's condo tonight watching the fireworks and talking to her friend Chantal when they topic inevitably turned to shoes. We were talking about the lack of closet space in older homes and lamenting the fact that if you want a home with character you need one that has an extra bedroom for a closet for shoes. I have to wonder if women in earlier eras didn't have the access to fabulous shoes that we have today.

Anthropologists and archaeologists will tell you that you can often discern the history of a person by their shoes. I think that is true today. For example, if you see a woman walking down the street who is dressed to kill except she has on tennies, you can know she is going to work. After all, she wouldn't be wearing tennies into a restaurant or store or museum when she's dressed well. You can't change your shoes just outside, so she's clearly going to work. She isn't wealthy enough to have a driver, so she's working class. See how easy it is?

If you see a woman walking around in Crocs and she is not on her own property gardening, you can be sure that her history involves some sort of final defeat between her pride and her willingness to put comfort over all else. There's nothing wrong with being comfortable, but do we wear our PJs to the opera? Do we wear them to the upscale mall? No. Wearing Crocs is the same thing and shouldn't be done.

One more? when you see a woman strutting herself like she knows she's fabulous in 4-inch Manolos, you can be sure she knows the value of beautiful, well made shoes. While this can't tell us anything about her social status, it does tell us about her intelligence. She must have above average intelligence to be able to recognize true art in its wearable form. She clearly cares about how she looks but doesn't shove it down your throat with branding laid bare; only those in the know will know which label she is wearing. This woman is the woman we should all aspire to be: chic, intelligent, sophisticated and fabulous. In other words, she listened to Suz and I and benefited from it forever.

There is nothing wrong with judging a person by the shoes they wear; how else will you know if they are someone you wish to allow into your life?

Today's favorite shoe:
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Roberto Cavalli "J6708"