I was at Northpark again today and had the opportunity to sit and watch women shopping in J. Jill. I noticed a woman walking around who was probably around 60. Keep in mind that I live in Dallas where plastic surgery is queen so you never really can guess a person's age. Anyway, this woman was carrying a black patent leather oversized bag with bling and studs on it, wearing a pink top with khaki capris, pink floral high heeled slides with a big ass bow and she had bright red polish on her toes. Does the woman own a mirror?
I know this woman thought she looked put together and even cute, but ladies! mixing seasons and clashing colors and too young for you styles is so wrong. It's spring! leave the black patent leather anything packed away in tissue for next winter. Then again, oversized and blingy patent leather purses should probably be lovingly packed away in the garbage can. But the shoes! Christ on a bike, step away from shoes that have both a gaudy floral pattern AND a bow. Step away, now! Step away especially if you are over the age of fifteen.
Fabulosas, please! It isn't hard to take a quick look in the mirror to see how the total package comes together. If you can acknowledge that any part of your anatomy is hosting something you might have seen in Seventeen magazine, take it off. Unless you are, in fact, seventeen. The capris this woman was wearing were cute; all she needed was a new purse and new shoes to look fabulous. How hard is it to compliment yourself with the right shoes? Not hard at all. If you can't figure out how to do it, email me and I'll help.
Act your age, mama, not the shoes you wore in high school.
Today's favorite shoe:
Isaac Mizrahi "Ariane"
Very much on sale, by the way.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Monday, April 23, 2007
How much shoe talk is too much? Or to be more exact: is there ever a time when shoe talk is inappropriate? I have a feeling many of you know where I am going with this; yes, fabulosas, I am talking about noticing the shoes in the stall next to you in the restroom.
Here's the deal: I was, you know, the other day at Target and I happened to notice the thongs the lady next to me was wearing and I really, really wanted a pair. I sat there for a moment (because, you know, where was I going to go?) and decided against asking her through the stall walls. The conversation in my head went something like this:
Shoe Whore Liesl: Well, those shoes ARE really cute and they look new! If I ask her where she got them I might be able to get some, too.
Tactful Liesl: Yeah, but you'd have to first get her attention. What are you going to say? hey lady! the one next to me with the fabulous thongs and the interesting sounding bathroom experience?
Shoe Whore Liesl: Yeah, but once I got her attention she'd be happy to share the information with a fellow bathroom goer.
Tactful Liesl: Dude! no one wants to talk to you when they're in the bathroom praying to Jesus for relief!
Shoe Whore Liesl: Shoes trump all. ALL, I tell you! a quick question won't be weird.
Tactful Liesl: Yes, it will. Suck it up and realize you can't have every pair of fabulous shoes you see. Besides, do you really want to walk around in shoes that remind you of stinky tee tee? No, you do not.
At this point in the conversation I realized that in sitting there debating with myself my legs had fallen asleep. I had to sit there stomping my feet and trying to get the blood back into my legs. I noticed that in doing the stomping everyone in the bathroom curiously left in a bit of a hurry. I had missed my opportunity. Curse propriety!
If I had to choose between taking toilet paper to a deserted island and Jimmy Choos, I'd choose the Choos.
Today's favorite shoe:
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Would you wear used shoes if they were fabulous? I ask this because I have been going back and forth on this issue over the past few days. I was looking around on Manolo's blog and I came across a section of links for the latest fabulous ebay listings for fabulous shoes. I lost my head a little bit and bid on a pair of used Louboutin flats. Now, y'all know that I love Louboutin more than all others and that I also do not own a pair. The idea of owning a pair went to my head and I almost had them. So close. I was outbid and that turned out to be OK. Though, I really must have these. Oh, there I go again! Bad, Liesl! Bad!
Here's the thing, though: I wouldn't even consider buying a pair of shoes from a thrift store. Why? because the thought of wearing shoes someone else has worn and then cast off is squicky. It seems different when you cast them off to the Goodwill and when you sell them on ebay because they are still worth wearing. Right?
I think the real issue is that I want the shoes all to myself. If I am going to own and wear couture I want it to be all mine, as if it was made specifically for me. I can clearly imagine the entire process my Ferragamos went through to get to my feet. I don't even think anyone else tried them on before they fabulously found their fabulous way onto my fabulous feet. They were made for me and they are my soulmates. No pun intended because I do not joke about shoes or love. They really are just that important. In the end, I've decided that since these shoes made me whimper and weep, I should get over it all and get them. No! Bad Liesl, Bad!
A pair of Louboutins of my very own? Good, Liesl! Good!
Today's favorite shoe:
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
My day was utterly ruined first thing this morning. I got dressed and went looking for the shoes I wanted to wear; trouble is, I couldn't find them anywhere. I still can't find them. I ended up settling for some ballet flats but they didn't feel right after I had decided to wear my fabulous black slides. As I was walking across campus and feeling not quite right and a little grumpy I realized that it was my bad shoe luck this morning that ruined the rest of my day.
Some people might consider that silly but shoes are our daily foundation. We use them to do everything else during our day so having a bad shoe day is far worse than having a bad hair day or an I got dressed in the dark, clearly, day. Your shoes hold you up; they are the wind beneath your pencil skirt (unless you're Suz); they are the rock and the island and all the fish in the sea. A bad shoe day makes for a very bad day, indeed.
I'll find my shoes tomorrow; after all, tomorrow is another day.
Today's favorite shoe:
Rene Caovilla "C3917A"
Saturday, April 14, 2007
I am feeling pissed off and bitter today. I hate that feeling. I end up with such a knot of rage in my gut, that I want to scream. Primal scream. OK band, weird psycho babble trend in the 70's.
Anyway, back to why I'm pissed off and bitter. As those of you with hard to fit feet know, it's not easy to find pretty shoes. So it's particularly insulting when a company who likes to brag that they have shoes available in your size, ends up only having ugly shoes in your size. What up with that?
The company I take issue with is Naturalizer. I just received the latest catalog in the mail. Full of lovely, pretty shoes that I can afford. One glaring problem - their lovely, pretty shoes are available only up to size 9N. Why would they not take that one extra step and stock them in size 10N? Do they think that 9 is the cutoff and that women with size 10N (or larger) feet don't want to look fabulous? Seriously. What the hell is up with that?
So I wrote a letter. I encourage all of you who share my predicament to do the same. I know there are lots of you out there.
I am writing to express my extreme frustration with your sizing. I just received my latest catalog, and yet again, I see that all your cute and pretty new shoes are size either in M or W only, or worse yet for me, N to size 9. I wear a size 10N. I prefer to wear pretty shoes. I would shop from you far more if you just took that one extra step and carried your most attractive styles in my size. Frankly, I don't want to buy much of what you offer in size 10N. To put it mildly, they are ugly. I wouldn't be caught dead in them.
So, until such time as you decide to offer your pretty shoes in my size, I'll continue to do the bulk of my shoe shopping at Nordstrom and Zappos.
PS: I buy at least one pair of shoes a month.
Manolo Blahnik Toe Ring Flat
Thursday, April 12, 2007
I was shopping for shoes the other day at Fossee's, one of my favorite shoe stores, when I overheard a woman telling another woman that a shoe salesman at Saks had told her that designers were no longer making narrow shoes and she had to just get used to it. I found that to be utterly reprehensible. How could that ass expect anyone to just get over being able to wear anything but tennies because fabulous shoes no longer fit?
This was brought to mind tonight when I was watching one of my all time favorite movies, Once Upon A Time In The West. In a particularly brutal scene Henry Fonda asks Claudia Cardinale if there was anything she wouldn't do to save her skin. She replies: nothing. There is another character who desires nothing more than to see the Pacific ocean before he dies; he is willing to anything to get there. The Charles Bronson character will sacrifice himself just to get revenge for the murder of his brother. And the last major character, played by Jason Robards will do almost anything for money.
All of this exposition on OUTITW is just to ask this one question: what wouldn't I do for fabulous shoes? Oh, you know what? maybe I shouldn't write that down where people can read it. Um... never mind.
I wonder if Christian Louboutin takes souls in payment for his shoes?
Today's favorite shoe:
Christian Louboutin, "Yo Yo Zeppa 3"
Saturday, April 07, 2007
I recently bought a pair of Jessica Simpson shoes that miraculously fit well and were quite fabulous. After I bought those shoes I went to the jewelry counter and bought a pair of Jennifer Lopez earrings. I was a bit embarrassed about these purchases because of the pop culture connection and it got me to thinking about celebrity products; should the puritans of fashion indulge in them?
I've been fairly impressed with the Jessica Simpson line of shoes. I assume she doesn't design them but does make the final decision on which ones to make. Many of her shoes are cute and stylish. Jennifer Lopez always looks fabulous so why wouldn't we assume that her products will also be fabulous? yet, I really was embarrassed and even told the salesman that I couldn't tell anyone I had purchased Jessica Simpson shoes.
I've decided that that is silly. After all, no one has proprietary control over fabulousness. I am not particularly brand conscious, I just like what I like. What I like generally happens to be Christian Louboutin, Jimmy Choo and the master, Manolo. However, that does not mean that I won't be the first to point out fug in any of those designer's lines. Remember the Burberry ugliest shoe on the planet? I like Burberry, as a rule. In the end all that matters is whether the product contains its requisite amount of fabulousness. Who cares whose name is on it if it looks fabulous on your fancy feet or perfectly proportioned ear lobes.
If I were a celebrity my line of shoes would be worshipped like a child worships Barney: with abandon, passion and the knowledge that you are more right than right in your love of something purple and fabulous.
Today's favorite shoe:
Christian Lacroix "973985"
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Yay! Suz is back! I believe this blog lacks something when she is not able to post as often. We often disagree on shoes which makes for a richer blog experience. Now if I can just get her to say no to Led Zeppelin...
Spring is here! I have been walking around in my new sandals for several days and feeling like I have been set free. As much as I love boots I miss the carefree days of summer and spring and the freedom of the air on my tootsies. With spring I feel the need to remind everyone that it is imperative to start getting pedicures. I get them all year round but I don't expect everyone else to be as vigilant. I would like to do a refresher of the pedicure/sandals rules.
1. A french manicure on your toes looks ridiculous. It is made to mimic the way our idealized fingernails would look if they were perpetually clean and young and long. Who wants to mimic long nails on your toes? That's just gross.
2. Don't wear pink shoes with red nail polish on your toes. They clash and cause the rest of us to have momentary confusion over who you are... scintillating seductress or immaculate innocent. the combination of the two is disturbing and results in an immaculate seductress who confuses everyone.
3. If thy nail polish chips, thou shalt repaint. Always.
4. Smelly feet do not belong in sandals. Ever.
5. If the sandals you are wearing have a huge flower on it, it is way out of fashion. Way, way, way out.
6. Flip flops are for the pool or beach, not lunch with the ladies.
7. After wearing sandals all day remember that your feet will get dirty. It's best to wash them before you get into bed.
8. Slides that flip up when you walk should make minimal sound. Otherwise, it sounds like you are walking along gently farting with each step.
9. Band aids and sandals do not go together. No one wants to see a loose band aid flapping around underneath your sandal or hanging off the side of your foot. Ew.
10. The most important rule: No Crocs, ever. I realize they have flip flops and you might be tempted to wear them to the pool or beach, but they should not be worn. Can you imagine all of that sand in the holes? Crunchy!
I hope this refresher has been informative. Remember to tip your pedicurist and to treat her well; she deals with the most important part of your body, the part that gets to wear the portable art that we call shoes.
If you walk into a pedicure salon wearing Crocs and the women who work there are predominantly "foreign," assume they're laughing at you in their native language.
Today's favorite shoe: