If The Shoe Fits

Liesl, 7N

Last week Bill O'Reilly called women and their shoe habits "ridiculous." I would like to address this assertion and argue the ridiculousness of his ridiculous statement.

Yes, women have more shoes than men, typically. Yes, women pay more for shoes than men. Yes, we have a wider variety of shoes than men. My question is: so? I would like to point out to Mr. O'Reilly that while he may find the shopping habits of many of the planet's women ridiculous, many of the planet's women find him equally ridiculous. Most of us learn at a relatively early age that if a man needs to bluster and blow to get his point across he probably has a small penis. Are you intimidated by our fabulous shoes because you know they could so effectively kick you in the small penis region, Mr. O'Reilly?

Look at it this way: Will shoes ever tell you they want to run a falafel all over your body? No. Will shoes ever lie about their party affiliation? No. Will shoes ever turn red in the face and do a good rendition of "Satan trying to speak to us from the other side through Bill O'Reilly"? No.

You don't get it, Mr. O'Reilly? Yeah, we know.

Today's Favorite Shoe:

Oscar de la Renta