Thursday, May 08, 2008

I am a bad, bad shoe blogger. I have been neglecting my beloved fabulosas in favor of writing about other things on my other blog. Oh, it is so wrong! The shoes, how they suffer without me! I shall force myself to touch a pair of Crocs the next time I am at Nordstrom's. But only with my pinky finger and only for half a second. I've been bad but not that bad.

One of my former students was walking through some city and came upon a sight that horrified him: it was an entire store devoted to Crocs. Naturally, he stopped and took a picture for me with his cell phone. I purposely did not save it, for obvious reasons. The question I must ask is, how is it possible there is an entire store devoted to the hideous foam monstrosities? Have we lost our minds? The answer must surely be, yes! we are, as a nation, batshit crazy.

It is often a sign of a diseased mind when a person begins to prefer the lower arts, or lesser artists. If you walk into someone's home and see a copy of a Thomas Kincaid painting, aren't you a little bit sure that there is some simple mindedness going on? Do we really think of the Lawrence Welk types as anything but doddering old fools? If we know someone who regularly sends us "inspirational" and sappy as hell emails, aren't we also sure they are avid Hallmark Channel viewers? Two words, people: Danielle Steele. Two more words: Hee Haw. Save the righteous indignation for lesser mortals; you know I'm right.

It is the same for our support of Crocs and their take over of American feet; we are entering the twilight of our sanity as a nation and starting our rapid descent into the great nursing home of history. There simply cannot be any other explanation for how it is possible that Crocs are not just worn, but popular. We have passed the age of reason, in this country. We have started wearing diapers made of foam because they're just more comfortable and convenient. We have discovered the "joys" of jello colored shoes. We are combative and refusing to do what is best for us, long past caring that we are wearing curlers in our hair in public and not minding it when people see our skid marked undies hanging on the line of ugly that stretches across this country. We are the slovenly crazy lady you see at the store buying bags and bags of cat food, kitty litter, and gin. Quite frankly, we smell.

Je refuse! I refuse to be associated with a country who eats supper at 4:00 p.m. and wears those funky sunglasses you get at the eye doctor's office after your eyes have been dilated. I refuse to live in a county that thinks that foam is something you wear instead of something you use to wash your hands. Je refuse!

And people wonder why other countries think we're tacky!

Today's favorite shoe:
Photobucket
Bettye Muller "Ekland"

3 Fabulosas:

b4k4kun said...

Speaking of Crocs, the other day as I read my dwell magazine (first time picking it up and I enjoyed it), I found out there are many styles of crocs, including the crocs cyprus. search it up and see what I speak of.

junaid said...
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harada57 said...
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