Told you so.

Furthermore, I've seen it claimed, though not documented, that Cody helped design the shoes, knowing full well what they were. I knew it was all about her edge cred. Lame.

Liesl, 7N

I now formally kick Diablo Cody out of the fabulosa universe. She is dead to me. To read why, here is an excerpt from her latest blog post on Myspace:

"I'm actually really pissed about this, now that I think about it. They're using me to publicize their stupid shoes and NOBODY ASKED ME. I would never consent to a lame publicity stunt at a time when I already want to hide. I'm sorry if I sound like a party-pooper, but Jeebus."

Party pooper? She wants to hide? I'm sorry, did someone force her to write Juno and then force her to sell it to a producer or studio to be made into a movie? Is someone forcing her to go to the show and sit there in all of her tacky faux leopard print glory? No? then stop with the faux Garbo shit.

Lame publicity stunt? Because, you know, she's such a private attention ho-less person. There's nothing wrong with asking for the attention of every pair of eyes in the room by taking your clothes off, but let's not kid ourselves that strippers are the hide away in the dark types. I suspect Diablo Cody just thought she would no longer be considered edgey if she wore the Weitzman shoes and therefore garner attention for something other than her body or wit.

We are, of course, talking about the Stuart Weitzman "Cinderella" shoes. I am not a huge fan of this year's offering, but they are Weitzmans and are therefore special. Diablo Cody should thank her lucky stars for having the opportunity to be in the same room with Stuart Weitzman, much less wear his shoes. She could only hope to touch his greatness with the very tip of her pinky toe.

As expected, Stuart Weitzman was class itself when interviewed by the AP:

"Weitzman later said he made the cost of the metallic beige T-strap high heels -- more than $2.5 million, including parts that were not used in the final pair -- clear to Cody when he met with her. He blames the stripper-turned-screenwriter's behind-the-scenes team for not fully communicating the value of the shoes to Cody.

"I'm just embarrassed that she wrote what she wrote," he told the AP during a telephone interview Saturday night.

Even so, the designer says he wouldn't change his decision to give the ultra-expensive heels to Cody."

That, Diablo Cody, is what class looks like. You can't buy it, you can't steal it, you can't even pretend to have it. It doesn't come with birth or status or accomplishment. Ex-strippers can have it, but not if they act like whiney babies with entitlement issues.

I don't care who you are or what you've done, Stuart Weitzman deserves more respect than a bitchy rant on myspace.

Today's favorite shoe:


Stuart Weitzman "Por Favor"

Liesl, 7N

I am not happy. I was finally able to wear the gorgeous fuschia Pliner's I bought a month ago and they killed my feet. They are, dare I say it? too small. I knew that stretching spray wouldn't work since they are silk, but I headed over to Deno's, my favorite shoe repair store, anyway. The instructions for the spray are for leather or reptile, not man made fabrics. Oh! wait! the shoes are silk! that's natural, right? I mean, it comes from worms, which are so natural they are icky. Dare I try it? What do you think, fabulosas?

Anyway... I found a fabulous product at Deno's: Killer Kushionz by Foot Petals. These incredible sticky cushions are supposed to keep your feet from sliding in their shoes. Can you imagine? We all know what it's like to slip around inside our shoes to the extent that we look like we're walking on ice on a perfectly hot day. While it might be amusing to watch, it is not amusing to experience. These pads come in all different sizes and can be added to any kind of shoe. You have to love a company that claims "one size fits fabulously." Oh! how cool are these Strappy Strips for those straps that won't stop digging into your perfectly pedicured pes? Yes, it's a word.

This product exploration, while fun, has me wondering how it is that I didn't know about these products before now. I feel a tiny bit betrayed by my hyper extended shoe sense. I suppose I can't know everything. Wait, this is me we're talking about; of course I can and do know everything. Now.

Since we've established that I know everything now, why not just go ahead and put me in charge of the world? It would be infinitely prettier.

Today's favorite shoe:

Kate Spade "Gerry"

Liesl, 7N

When I am out and about without my husband and he happens to call me on my cell phone which I just happen to have with me and turned on, I always answer, "I'm not shopping!" Three fourths of the time that isn't true, but what we doesn't know won't hurt him. I'm usually able to hide the evidence before he gets home and only rarely am I busted. Maybe it's more true that Mr. Fancy Pants is in a deep state of denial.

I met the man who has the website again on Friday. He just had to meet me at a Barnes and Noble that was next to a DSW. And I just happened to get there an hour early after my lunch with my gorgeous friend Erika ended. What's a shopping addict to do? Um... shop? I picked up a cute pair of Rampage sandals with bling on the toe hole and not much else and a cute pair of flips with pearls on the straps. The flips were something like $4 and you can never have too many flips for tooling around the garden, house, pool, or discount shopping. Remember ladies, nice shoes for nice stores.

This time the fault was truly not mine for the shopping. Truly. No one could expect me to pass up shoes when I have time to spare and vast availability. No one. It would be like someone blaming a crack ho for smoking crack when it was handed to her for free. Or, blaming a gambler for betting on a game that was a sure thing, like the Patriots versus the Giants. Wait, that one doesn't work. The point is, I am not to blame for this one; I took one for the team of people everywhere who have their addictions thrust on them against their will. It wasn't my fault! Stop looking at me like that!

Addiction may be too strong of a word for what I have; let's call it an undying need to pretty up the place.

Today's favorite shoe:

Casadei "3891"

Liesl, 7N

Squeeeeeee! a wedding in the fabulosa universe! I am so excited to announce that my beautiful friend Jenni is marrying my less beautiful friend Huan. It's not that he's not beautiful, but he's a man. You get that, right? Jenni told me tonight of their impending nuptials and I am so excited I think I teeteed a little bit.

I love weddings. I watch wedding shows and I take Martha Stewart Weddings magazine. Weddings are the time we are supposed to be at our best and the time people are supposed to love us so much that they buy us ridiculously complex and expensive mixers. But fabulosas, let us not forget the most important part of any wedding: the wedding shoes. I am getting flushed at the thought.

We've talked about special shoes before and what they mean to us, but let's talk specifically about wedding shoes. As we prepare to cross the threshold into a new life and a new family, shouldn't it be done in our most special shoes? Yes, I do believe it should. Your wedding day is the most important shoe day of your life. Even if your dress will cover your shoes the entire time, it doesn't matter; you will still know that your most fabulous asset for the day is your shoes. Walk into your life on happy little pillows of joy!

Something borrowed, something blue, something old, something new, something fabulous in shoes.

Today's favorite shoe:

Vera Wang

Liesl, 7N

Oh, fabulosas, fabulosas, fabulosas! Looooook! If one of you doesn't get those shoes I will be very upset. They are GORGEOUS and they are such an amazing price! I've mentioned that that is my favorite ebay seller, right? I've bought Pliner and Kenneth Cole from them and they are so wonderful. But those Kenneth Coles are simply to die for. Oh my god, I want these so, so badly. I promised Mr. Fancy Pants that I wouldn't go crazy on ebay, though. My life is so hard.

Is it a boudoir slipper or a fabulous slingback? You decide! I have some of these in a half boot and they are killer. They look incredible with jeans. You should get them. And these. You realize that if you are a size 10 you are morally required to get these, right? Who doesn't need a pair of red ankle boots? Or strappy sandals?

I'm not an enabler, I just know what's good for my beloved fabulosas.

Today's favorite shoe:

Isabella Fiore "Revolver"

Liesl, 7N

Oh, Donald. Donald, Donald, Donald. There is no featuring of Crocs on fabulous shows. You have just made The Apprentice the bitch of foam made hideousness. I don't care that Crocs is donating shoes to people in need! If they truly wanted to do something good they'd donate a fabulous pair of shoes for every Croc someone turns in as a way to make up for the ugly they have spread around the world. It would be like those turn in your gun programs, only better.

A very smart man contacted me recently and asked if I would be interested in writing for his website. I met with him today and have agreed to write the content on his site. When we get it up and going I will be sure to link it here so that you all can bask in my displayed glory. This means, of course, that I get to go shopping even more. Woe, my life; it does pinch.

Here's my bargain with all of you: for every pair of Crocs you send me that I can destroy I will donate $5 to the Autism Society of America.

Today's favorite shoe:

Ralph Lauren

Liesl, 7N

I am extremely and irretrievably offended. I feel like my honor has been trampled upon and my name is now as muddy as a country doctor who hides an assassin in bad shoes. What, you ask, could cause this ultimate offense? There is a loafer named Liesl. And darlings, let me tell you, it is not good.

Of all the shoes they would name Liesl, they chose that monstrosity?? Look at the stitching! Look at the material! That shoe does not deserve my name. I heartily object to my name being anywhere near that shoe and I think we need to start a petition to rename it. Let's say, something like... Mabel? or how about Agnes? Lucretia? Here's the problem: I can't find out who makes this very un-fabulous loafer. Anyone?

My name is worth far more than cheap materials and bad stitching.

Today's favorite shoe:

Givenchy "574936"

Liesl, 7N

I had the worst nightmare I've ever had last night. I had gone to see my doctor and he told me that I had to start wearing orthopedic shoes. I was excited at first, thinking, new shoes! When he took me to the back wall of his office and showed me the shoes, I shook my head, screamed no, and started to have a panic attack. The shoes were a cross between running shoes, men's oxfords and cardboard boxes. My doctor told that I would lose my ability to walk if I didn't wear these shoes. In other words, my life was well and truly over.

I haven't been able to shake the feelings from that nightmare this morning. The horror of seeing the abomination they were calling a shoe and the agony of hearing that I would have to wear it... it is too much for my fragile psyche. In the dream, I chose the wheelchair over the horrific shoes. Naturally.

Life isn't worth living in bad shoes. You present yourself to the world in your shoes and if you don't care enough to present yourself as fabulous, you might as well resign yourself to mediocrity. And who wants that?

If dreams were reality I'd be Christian Louboutin's best friend and all the world would be better for it.

Today's favorite shoe:

Alessandro Dell'Acqua "719032A"

Liesl, 7N

Did you watch Tuesday's Oprah? You seriously missed it, if not. She was supposed to have on Christian Louboutin but he came down with bronchitis. Instead, she had on one of his representatives and, more importantly, his shoes. I whimpered. He called shoes "life filled art objects." Have I mentioned? he completes me.

I had never seen a picture of the God of Shoes, so I was a bit surprised to see this little man tooling around Paris on a scooter. But then I realized, he couldn't possibly have lived up to my expectations. No man is Leonidas, Achilles, Hector and Odysseus all rolled into one with a massive helping of shoe perfection. Still, the God of Shoes will always be more than enough man any woman would need. You know, because of the whole completing thing. And the shoes.

This is why Christian Louboutin is the God of Shoes:
I am crying tears of salty purity over those shoes. Those shoes are the cat's meow after good sex and the bees knees after a run through a field of poppies. Those shoes are sublimity in material form and delicousness in satin and bows. Those shoes simply are.

I think we should all launch a thousand paper ships of fabulous in honor of Christian Louboutin.

Today's favorite shoe:

Christian Louboutin, of course.

Liesl, 7N

I saw an old friend yesterday who I hadn't seen in twelve years. He reminded me that I had helped him pick out a suit for his rehearsal dinner and that he still had it, still wears it. His mom told me that they had looked everywhere for a suit that looked good on him and that would last through the fads and were amazed all those years ago that I had been so successful in finding that suit. My husband smiled and said that I've always had sartorial elan. My response? Well, duh.

This is yet another example of why you all should really trust me and my sartorial sense. I have also decided that you sweet things might benefit from my other tastes in all things pretty. Here's your first tip: two words that should never, never, never, never, never, never go together? faux fireplace.

Two other words that should never, never, never, never, never, never go together? Foam shoes.

Today's favorite shoe:

Manolo Blahnik

Liesl, 7N

A friend recently told me a story about a friend of hers. Apparently this friend of a friend bought what she thought was a Dior purse online. When she the lining ripped a year later she took it to Dior to have it fixed. Their response? We don't fix knock offs. Not only did the friend lay out a couple hundred dollars for a knock off, she was duped into thinking it was real, and she was seriously dissed at Dior. I can't imagine a worse fate.

I'm ok with shoe inspirations. I'm ok with buying a pair of shoes from Target that approximately resemble a pair of Manolos. I do not think it is ok, though, to purchase cheap shoes that have a couture label on them. No, I don't care about sweat shops and child labor or fair trade; that's all immaterial in this issue. I care that the original piece of art is being seriously misrepresented. As if Gucci would indulge in plastics.

The moral of this entry is this: if it smells like a knock off, if it looks like a knock off, it costs less than a mortgage payment, it's not worth your time. You have to pay for true art.

You will never find truly fabulous shoes in a trash bag wielded by an Asian man on Canal street.

Today's favorite shoe:

Hollywould "Gertrud"

Liesl, 7N

Miss me? Yeah, I know, I know, life was empty. Never fear, AT&T finally came through with internet access.

My sweet neighbor just brought over a present for me: bunny slippers. I adore bunny slippers! Actually, I adore slippers in general, but bunny slippers seem to add that extra bit of specialness to already special, luxurious footwear. My neighbor gets me.

My cousin called me the other day to tell me how much he liked this blog. Did I mention he's my favorite cousin? Anyway, he said that years ago he had a friend who told him that if you looked at a person's shoes you could tell a lot about them. As you all know, I agree with this. I've mentioned this before and even shown how this is true; it's so true, in fact, that it bears repeating.

What do you want your shoes to say about you?

Only the tacky die young:


Nun in street clothes:


I've gone to the bad Christmas place:


Still trying to relive the days when it was cool to roll around on the floor in a lace wedding dress:


Dude, they stopped touring when Jerry died:


Oi! they stopped touring when Sid died:


Hi! my name is __ and I idolize Minnie Mouse and nuclear radiation created colors!


My shoes say a lot about me in French and Italian.

Today's favorite shoe:

Giuseppe Zanotti "I70133"

Liesl, 7N

I am sorry to report that we do not have internet access at home thanks to the unbelievable incompetence of several AT&T employees. I bet they wear Crocs, too. Anyway, I'll be back as soon as we find a new internet provider. In the meantime, go buy some shoes! Shop! Go!

Oh, and happy holidays, darlings!

Liesl, 7N

I am sorry I've been neglecting the blog again. I promise to be more diligent in my shoe commentary duties. I know you lovely people can't do without me and my amazingly wise words.

I would like to point out that there are certain things that you should not do, even if someone does step on your shoes. Shooting someone in the back is just one of those things. I realize that people should be extremely careful when they're around fabulous shoes, but we must be moderate in our responses.

I think the man who had his shoes stepped on should have responded in this way: "Pardon me, I believe you have just trod on my shoes. Please be more careful as they are fabulous and worth more than your life. Just kidding! ha ha! I won't shoot you in the back! ha ha!"

I realize that shoes trump most things, but you must remember that if you do something that will result in your imprisonment, you will have to wear Croc-like shoes. Is it worth it? No, no, not at all. Please do remember your priorities, fabulosas.

I used to know an opera singer who shot himself in the foot to avoid service in Vietnam. I don't know which is worse, his cowardice or his willingness to sacrifice fabulous shoe opportunities for his life.

Today's favorite shoe:

Givenchy "574920"

Liesl, 7N

My husband and I went to the symphony last night for our anniversary. We were drinking our pre-symphony champagne in the lobby and commenting on how people were dressed when I remembered a woman who used to attend every opening night of every Opera Colorado performance in the 80s with her husband. We called her the princess because her outfits were always way over the top and she always wore a tiara. I found out years later that she made every single one of those outfits and planned them all year in anticipation of opening night.

We made fun of her back then but I think we were wrong. Good for her for putting that much care and work into what she wore! We could all do with a little bit of the princess in us. When you see people wearing ditch digging clothes to hear Beethoven, there's just something wrong. Great beauty should be respected with more beauty. Comfort is simply not as important as beauty. Clearly.

I met the princess at the opening of one of the Central City operas. She was, well, not very bright. She seemed almost simple minded. But she was sweet and she loved her clothes and she loved to dress up when she had the chance. I think we could all learn something from that simple, gaudy woman: it doesn't take brains or common sense to know that putting care into your clothes is a good thing.

There's nothing wrong with slapping a tiara on your head and calling yourself fabulous.

Today's favorite shoe:

Etro "3023"

Liesl, 7N

I came very close to having a crying, screaming hissy fit at Nordstrom's yesterday. They are having a sale, and even though I had not planned on shopping, I had to look. As I perused the 6-7 racks I was stunned to find that there was nothing on the racks I wanted. This was, to say the least, distressing. I circled those racks several times, hoping my usual shoe eagle eye had failed me. By the third trip around women were fleeing from, sensing a seismic event. It was on the fifth trip around that a pair of Dolces in the couture department distracted me; that old shoe eagle eye was working! the Dolces where across the department.

On my way to the Dolce's I noticed the couture sale rack. I usually try to avoid the couture rack because I generally can't afford the sale prices and it makes me cry. Audibly. Yesterday I just couldn't help myself; I paused at the couture rack and found a pair of brown and lack suede leopard print Weitzmans that I had to try on. Surprise, surprise, they fit. Whew! Everyone at Nordstrom's was spared a huge scene.

On another note, I am feeling generous enough to share. Baby did another bad, bad thing this morning when I noticed my favorite ebay seller's new items. Or, I noticed a pair of fuschia Pliner slides I had to have. As I was perusing this ebay seller's store, I noticed some amazing deals. For example: beautiful Etienne Aigner boots, cute Pliner mules, gorgeous Pliner pumps, sublime Weitzman sandals, remarkable Kenneth Cole lace ups, adorable BCBG pink sandals, and my favorite of them all, fabulous Fornarina suede boots. Go! Buy!

There is nothing wrong with circling the sale racks at Nordstrom's as if they were a wounded zebra ready for the kill. Faster pussy cat! shop! shop!

Today's favorite shoe:

Dolce and Gabbana

Liesl, 7N

Yesterday one of my students said he is sure Crocs are the same shoes they issue prisoners. As you all are aware, the United States has a retributive justice system; now, I've never been to prison or anywhere near a prison, but I imagine that if they issue prisoners Crocs as part of their uniform, they do it as part of their punishment. Can you imagine being trapped in a small space and having to see everyone around you in dayglo foam shoes? I shiver at the thought.

If my student is wrong and they do not issue Crocs to prisoners (and I doubt they do), then perhaps we should start a fund to do just that. I think it would be a good deterrent for young people who might think a life of crime is the way to go. Instead of telling youngsters stories about being abused in jail or losing your freedom, all we'd need to do is show them the shoes they would be forced to wear. I predict an instant drop in crime in the United States.

Then again, we are supposed to adhere to the constitution in this country. The 8th amendment clearly states that we shall not have "cruel and unusual punishment." I'm afraid that forcing prison inmates to wear Crocs would fall into the cruel and unusual category. Waterboarding might be bad, but forced to wear Crocs? that's a fate worse than being made to be the bitch of a large man known as "Tooty Pants."

Innocent until proven guilty only applies to people who know better than to wear dayglo shoes.

Today's favorite shoe:

Marc Jacobs "673949"

Liesl, 7N

Two posts in one day! While tooling around Manolo's blog I came upon his current Build the outfit contest. As I was putting an outfit together I was getting frustrated because the outfit just didn't match the shoes. I realized that I don't like the shoes, so the outfit wasn't going to be good for the shoes. What is a fabulosa to do? Choose different shoes and post here for the benefit of all of my darling fabulosa readers:

Picture this jacket:

This shirt and tie:

This belt:

This skirt:

These boots:

These earrings:

This bracelet:


I love a good black outfit with a splash of color. I love this outfit and think you all should go right out and buy it or copy it.

Go!

Scoot!

Liesl, 7N

I want to remind everyone that if you find a pair of couture shoes you love, be sure to check on them online every other day. When I have gone back to see if certain shoes are still available I've been amazed at how low the prices go when they go on clearance. You can score a pair of Manolos for close to $100! What an incredible deal!

Manolo pointed me to a new blog that I think is brilliant. This is so true: "Only the rich can afford cheap shoes." Do you know why that's true? because the rich have enough money to pay for the damage cheap shoes do to your feet. When we know that our feet must last because they carry us through our lives, for better or worse, why would we even consider buying anything from Payless or, perish the thought! Walmart? I think my toes just curled up at the thought of such a thing. Do you really think the people who made those shoes in China care about your feet? Whereas, the people in Italy who make my shoes imbue them with love and care and kisses and hugs. Clearly.

I kiss them back.

My feet will carry me through life because they are loved and cared for by men named Guido and Giuseppe in Vigevano.

Today's favorite shoe:

Giuseppe Zanotti "I6629"

Liesl, 7N

I wish I had written this: "When I see people wearing Crocs, I know immediately that we have nothing in common, and that we could never be friends or have any meaningful kind of relationship... The only thing that goes with Crocs is social ostracism."

Be still my beating heart. Seriously, my heart is aflutter and I am feeling a bit weak in the knees. Is it the fabulous shoes I am wearing? No, I don't think so because I am used to that sort of excitement. Is it the lack of shoe shopping this week? No, that can't be it since I did receive my fabulous Kenneth Cole boots a week ago. Is it a lack of oxygen to my brain from the excitement of reading ultimate truth? You know, I think that's it.

Do a thought experiment with me, fabulosas: Picture yourself on a romantic night where you are with your lovah and you both look as good as you can look. Now, scan down your body to your feet. Do you see Crocs? If you do, admit it: the mood just went from romance to a bad acid trip involving clowns and Minnie Mouse. You know I'm right.

Anyone who hates Crocs as much as I do has to be brilliant.

Today's favorite shoe:

Emilio Pucci

Liesl, 7N

I had dinner last night with my mom and her friend Chantal. Chantal is French and always looks fabulous because she appreciates fashion as all of us should. Anyway, we were talking about her brother in law, the wonderful Carlos Falchi. She told me that he had designed shoes years ago but stopped because they were more trouble than they were worth. I lost my appetite at that thought.

Making shoes is expensive, I realize that. There is a good reason behind the lack of narrow and wide and extra large and extra small shoes: the cost is not defrayed by the consumer. This is why I am personally endorsing a product that has saved my feet more than once: Shoe Stretcher Spray. I tend to buy shoes a size or half a size smaller and stretch them to fit my dainty feet. The only problem is when I am out of the spray and just received my new Kenneth Cole boots and can't wait to wear them. I had to take them off at Bed, Bath and Beyond the other day because I couldn't feel my feet. My life is so hard.

Still, wouldn't it be wonderful to go into Neiman's or Nordstrom's and be able to put on a pair of couture heels and have them fit perfectly? I wonder who the people are who can do such a thing. Who are these "average" sized women? Or, average foot sized, anyway. I really think someone needs to put up the capital so that Suz and I can start a shoe line. Fabulous shoes for all foot types. Can you imagine? Oh, we would rule the world because you can do anything if your feet are in fabulous shoes and they fit correctly.

The Equal Rights Movement had it all wrong; if they had only focused on shoes women would be running the world by now.

Today's favorite shoe:

Isabella Fiore "Marina"

Liesl, 7N

Baby did a bad, bad thing. I was looking at old shoe pictures on the blog and feeling sadder than sad that I had missed these boots. When I went to buy them last year they were already gone. Imagine my surprise when I found them a year later on ebay. Still, I had no business spending the money for the water bill on fabulous shoes.

Actually, that's not entirely true; water isn't as necessary as a fabulous pair of Kenneth Cole boots. I don't think my husband will agree, but he will learn to live without water for a few days when he sees how fabulous those boots truly are and will be on me. I wonder, though, whether he will feel that way when I sacrifice the gas bill money for a pair of Charles Davids? We could always huddle under a gigantic pile of my shoes and bask in the warmth of their genius. Natural gas versus tanned and processed leather? No contest.

I'll never sacrifice the mortgage payment for a pair of Louboutins; after all, the house houses and protects my shoes.

Today's favorite shoe:

Casadei "4036"

Liesl, 7N

Something amazing happened in class yesterday: one of my students told me that he had heard that if you are stranded in the wilderness and you're wearing Crocs you can boil them and eat them. I think my head may just have spun around. Let's examine all that is wrong with this statement:

1. You're wearing Crocs? Nothing else needs to be said about this one.
2. Why on earth are you in the wilderness wearing Crocs? They have holes in them for twigs to poke through and scratch your feet. Not to mention the fact that they would undoubtedly scare away the wildlife you might be hoping to see. Have you ever seen a bunny run in fear? You would if you wore Crocs into the wilderness.
3. You would even consider eating Crocs? Wearing them is bad enough, but putting them in your mouth? God help us all.
4. Crocs are important enough to have their own urban legend? I think we should start a new one: Did you hear about the new gang ritual victimizing women in malls? Croc wearers are stomping on fabulous shoes with their so not fabulous Crocs to gain entrance to the Ugly No Good Kicks Evilly Making People Tinkle gang. Unkempt, for short. *shiver*

Did you hear about the woman who was thrown out of Neiman's for fondling shoes? Oh wait, that one isn't an urban legend...

Today's favorite shoe:

Delman

Liesl, 7N

I still haven't been shoe shopping since my last post. I'm starting to get shaky and it seems like I keep seeing this white light appear in the distance. I've been too weak to blog at the lack of shoey goodness and the smell of new leather. Perhaps if I can just make it to Nordstrom's I'll be able to recover my strength.

Woe, woe is me. Cursed am I who cannot afford to indulge in the life sustaining activity of buying shoes. I suppose I will have to go to Nordstrom's and lovingly stroke the shoes just to get a contact high. I am just afraid that the sight of all of the fabulousness after so long of an absence might be too much for me. I wonder if I should put the paramedics on alert? Do they do that?

I've been sniffing the pages of the latest Vogue in an attempt to at least hang on to life for a bit longer. Somehow, the smell of ink on paper just doesn't do it for me. I need the real thing and pictures of them aren't going to keep me alive for much longer. Perhaps one of our faithful readers should organize a 5k saunter for my benefit. We could call it the Saunter for the Shoes. How long is a 5k and can it be done in a mall?

Some people power walk in malls; I power saunter.

Today's favorite shoe:

Angeleigh Anastasio "Aurora"

Liesl, 7N

I haven't been shoe shopping in weeks. I am feeling a little weak and pale from the lack of time under shoe store lighting. Some people need sunshine; I need bad overhead spotlights.

I have to report a crime against humanity. This makes me sad to report because it involves one of my dearest friends, Shelley. Shelley is fortunate enough to have a mother in law who gives her truly fabulous shoes. The latest shoes she gave Shelley were some Prada thigh high python boots. Can you imagine? I think I just teeteed a little at the thought. All I get from my mother in law are pajama bottoms from Target. But I'm not bitter. Much.

OK, back to the crime: Shelley's MIL has given her Dior and Chanel and Prada. While Shelley and I were shopping a few weeks ago she told me that, and here is the crime, she never wears them. I'm queasy.

What other more horrific crime is there? Having those fabulous pieces of art and letting them get dusty in your closet?? And the worst part? She's considering selling the python boots on ebay! Tears where streaming down my face when she told me that last fact. I had to gently place the Pliners I was holding down and run screaming from the store. The store owner called the police who wanted to arrest Shelley for her crime, but she managed to convince them to let her remain at large. Something about borrowing something starting with an M and ending with an O. Who knew the police were so corrupt in Dallas?

I'm not sure my friendship with Shelley will survive this blow. I think I might have to take a xanax before I see her next in case she decides to tell me she pawned some Louboutins. Or, some Weitzmans were shoved in between her Candys and Keds. oops, here comes the queasiness again.

A crime against fabulous shoes is a crime against humanity.

Today's favorite shoe:

Charles, by Charles David "Mini"

Liesl, 7N

I would like to point something out. Over the last few months I've noticed a certain type of shoe in the local department stores. I would like for you all to scroll down to my entry for November 16, 2006. This is the shoe so many didn't like and the one I am seeing everywhere. I called it. You all really should listen to me.

I had a horrible experience the other day. I was with my friend Jen and she pointed out a pair of flip flops and said she didn't hate them. I agreed and said, as utilitarian flip flops go, they weren't awful. I mean, they weren't appropriate for wearing wherever we were (Target?), but they weren't offensive. That's when Jen informed me that they were, dare I say it? Crocs.

I debated with myself over admitting this horror and possibly losing my friendship with Suz forever. In the end, I knew that I couldn't allow the shame to eat away at my soul so I decided to admit it for all to see. I'm a giver.

I'm such a giver I'll even allow people to wear the flip flops of doom to the pool.

Today's favorite shoe:

Steve Madden "Giddie"

Liesl, 7N

It is a tragic time in the McQ household. My shoes are feeling the tragedy acutely and I am suffering in such a huge way. Woe, woe is me. What is causing this tragedy in our home, you ask? My mother has stopped paying for my pedicures. Alas, I must acknowledge that pedicures will now be few and far between. Cry.... cry for me.

As any self respecting woman knows, if my feet don't look their best then I must refrain from wearing sandals. I've thought about digging out my husband's dremel to work on my feet but I think he has hidden it from me. For some reason, he doesn't want dead skin stuck to his dremel.

So, here I sit, in pedicure-less hell. My feet are rough, my toenails are painted but not perfectly, and my heels have the dreaded dead skin cliff that I abhor so much. Oh, what did I do to deserve this?! I curse my fate and the person who transferred my mother's pedicurist to their other store. I cannot change my pedicurist as she is the only one who knows how to correctly cut my toenails. I am in closed toe shoe purgatory. It's so not fair.

Eat, sleep, pedicures. Not necessarily in that order.

Today's favorite shoe:

Luciano Padovan "6029-Dec"

Liesl, 7N

Yes, we've both been neglecting the blog lately. Life gets in the way, though it should never, ever supersede shoes. evereverevereverevereverever.

Have you noticed the prevalence of stripper shoes in mainstream shoe stores lately? What's that about? You know the ones I mean: the ridiculously high heels and the inch platform under the vamp. Not to mention the shiny factor. Are women truly supposed to wear those things shopping? I want to know who started this trend. I suspect it was a designer who either hates women or wants them all to be sluts. (not that strippers are all sluts, this is just a perception thing and I am not getting into any further because I don't have to) When did those pieces of ick become popular? Where was I... distracted by the Croc hate?

Stripper shoes are not fabulous. They are made a certain way because many men think they make women look sexy and they highlight a woman's upturned tush. Why, in the name of all the cheap lace at Fredericks of Hollywood, are women wearing these things to the mall? Have we learned nothing in the past thirty years? Did the ERA movement not teach us that we can demand to be fabulous unapologetically and unequivocally? Fabulous shoes can be about many things, to be sure. They can be about looking sexy, looking classic, feeling wonderful. But they should never be about someone's mistaken idea that women should buy into the notion that they are nothing more than a hooha on heels. No, ladies. Take those shoes back and demand something truly fabulous in return.

I'm a hooha with a brain in heels.

Today's favorite shoe:

Jimmy Choo "Hardy"

Liesl, 7N

As you all know, we just moved into a new home. I knew this home was the perfect home for us when we walked in the first time we saw it. I had no idea that we were buying the house from a visionary, an angel and a true fabulosa.

The couple who owned our home before us are a bit younger than us, but not by much. We liked them as soon as we met them and I knew I would like her after seeing her shoes when we toured the house. When we took possession of the house and walked around the empty rooms we were amazed at how well the home had been taken care of and how clean it was; the couple who lived here had cleaned it after they moved out. How nice is that? But wait, there is more; there is a reason I am calling the lady of the house a visionary, an angel, a true fabulosa.

She left the shoe racks in the closet. This young woman understood on a basic level the most important and sacred part of the house and she left me the gift of that sacredness in all its white metal goodness. Not only that, she left two shoe racks. I think she may just be my new best friend, my friend in shoes, my friend who just gets me. She had me at shoes.

I love my husband but Christian Louboutin completes me.

Today's favorite shoe:

BCBGirls "Popiul"

Liesl, 7N

We moved this week into a lovely new home that suits us so perfectly I am starting to believe I imagined it and made it real. Now, if I could just do the same with my own shoe line. Anyway, as we removed the guest bed from the guest bedroom we discovered an under the bed box we had forgotten we had. After I stopped freaking out about one more box that needed to be gone through and moved I opened it; it revealed something sublime. I think we all have this object of sublimity, either packed away or in our closets, perhaps not in our main closet, but somewhere out of the way, like an old memory you fleetingly grasp when a color reminds you of something.

I am talking about a pair of special shoes you wore only on the most special of occasions. The shoes I found are just those shoes for me. They are a pearly off white peau de soie with a small bow on the top of the vamp. I wore these shoes to two proms and to my debutante ball. They are so special that I almost can't find the words to describe them or how they made me feel to wear them. After I unpacked them and oohed and aahed over them, I put them on and wore them around the house, showing MFP just how important they were and are. I delicately walked around the boxes explaining all the while that sometimes there are shoes that transcend all we know of utility and money and the ground we walk on; some shoes allow us to float through our days or night.

When I was a teenager going to proms and later to my debutante ball these shoes took me through those times with a feeling of specialness, sublimity, and beauty. I have saved these shoes all these years, wrapped in tissue and preserved to remind me of a time when I wore the most special shoes I have ever known. I hope everyone else has a pair of shoes that they can put on and remember a time of excitement, newness and special occasions. Every day can't be a special occasion and it's nice to have tangible reminders of times when we felt beautiful and loved and the center of the universe. If you don't have a pair of shoes like that, get them. Wear them somewhere special and take someone special with you. Then, wrap them in tissue and put them away to be discovered some other time when you most need a reminder that there was, at least once, something ultimately special on your feet.

Special is as special does and there will never be anything special about dayglo shoes made of foam.

Today's favorite shoe:

Guiseppe Zanotti "I6325"

Liesl, 7N

We just received this in email from "Peter Haskins" who appeared to want us to learn about a newspaper in Iowa from the subject line (not quoted here, obviously):

"to learn how those

Hello. What's up? Email me at ork@linkmailmessage.info only. I am girlie. I would like to share some of my pics.
"In the current environment where is not obliged to discover discretion in relation"

Well Peter, I hate to tell you this, but we're not interested in "girlies" or your "pics." Also, we wonder what your discretion is in relation to as you seemed to be interrupted mid-sentence. Did you need to go place an ad in that Iowa newspaper? did you need to take more pictures? Or did someone walk by wearing some fabulous shoes? I hope it is the latter; if it is indeed the latter, maybe we''ll be a little more interested in your pictures. But only from the ankles down. Mmmm'kay, pumpkin?

Also: Beckie, Melissa, and Roslyn? We're sorry you're bored. Have you considered shoe shopping as a way to pass your time and alleviate your boredom? We think that if you have time to take all of the pictures you mentioned you might have enough time to find that perfect pair of 4-inch peep toes. It's a win/win situation: you get some fabulous shoes and you alleviate that awful boredom that seems to be a huge affliction for young internet users. We're here to help.

Now on to something far more important: I am calling for a boycott of BMW. I saw a commercial yesterday that showed a woman bringing home a new pair of heels with red soles; you know who that is supposed to represent. Anyway, she takes the right shoe and cuts the heel most of the way off so that she can drive her BMW with more room.

I ask you now to stand with me against something that horrible. I ask you to pledge not to buy a BMW until they issue an apology for such a gross misrepresentation of humanity. I ask you to destroy the BMWs you already own and send their scarred and damaged carcasses directly back to the people with black little souls who made that car. I ask you to send the makers of the evil car an email and express your outrage over their heinous 30 second ad for all that is base and evil in humanity. Write them. Tell them how wrong they are and demand a public apology, as I have. Make them feel your wrath in the tips of their toes that are probably shoved into very bad shoes. We must stand together against the tyranny of the base and priorityless.

I'd feel sorry for their bad shoe state at BMW if they hadn't encouraged people to desecrate all that is good in life.

Today's favorite shoe:

Via Spiga "Woo"

Liesl, 7N

We all do it. We do it when we're out in public; we do it when we're home watching TV or playing online; we do it when we're at work; we do it when we're in school. We do it with impunity, we do it without guilt, we do it because we can and because it is simply our nature. What is it? We judge others.

They say that women dress for other women, not men. It's true. You can usually tell the difference in women who dress for men and those who dress for women; we have a tendency to call the women who dress for men slutty dressers. Don't deny it, you've at least thought it. Last night we saw a woman in a pair of tight jeans and a tank top who looked like she had balloons in her shirt. I've never seen someone push their breasts up and out THAT much. My husband even said, "she has to be a stripper." Were we wrong? Would you have tut tutted us for taking a second look and thinking that she looked ridiculous and tarty?

We write this blog in critique and adulation of shoes. I admit, the love of shoes can be seen to be shallow if that is all you love. But there is nothing wrong with loving pretty things and stating that love for everyone to see. There is also nothing wrong with pointing out fashion dos and don'ts to try and spread beauty around you. No one is making a character judgment on people who practice fashion don'ts. OK, maybe we are on Crocs wearers. But aside from them, if you get caught going to the store in your PJs and people judge you as sloppily dressed, we're not saying you're a bad person or in need of personal violence. We are only saying that you are a fashion don't and you don't look your best. So, if you ever get caught in a fashion don't, don't take it personally, just correct your ways and it will all be ok. We're here to help, not harm.

Of course, if I judge you, you should get down on your knees and thank me for bestowing my fashion knowledge on you and helping you to become a better person.

Today's favorite shoe:

Dolce and Gabbana

Liesl, 7N

I was reading a relatively old People magazine today and came across an interview with Sarah Jessica Parker. As we all know, SJP is a fashion icon, especially when it comes to shoes. I love her ideas for her new line of clothes and I love that nothing is over $20. I do believe that fashion should be affordable and I also believe that you can look fabulous on a limited budget if you have some creativity. But that all strays from the point; I was devastated to find that SJP herself has fallen off of her pedestal made of shoe boxes and is now residing in the land of easy comfort over style. She lets her son wear Crocs.

Et tu, Brute? Why? Why would she betray us so? She knows the value of wearable art in shoes! She knows! Oh, cruel SJP, you have wounded me forever. No longer will I watch my beloved Sex and The City complete set DVDs in the pink case with the knowledge that you understand, both professionally and personally, the importance of fabulous shoes. Henceforth, I will replace you in my mind's eye with someone more worthy of my esteem, like Heidi Klum, who clearly doesn't count because she's a model and therefore has to know these things and live them, unlike the rest of us, even actresses, who know these things because we are just that smart and fabulous. Maybe I will replace you with Oprah. I know she has a bajillion dollars and probably doesn't do a lick of shopping herself, but damn it! I'm desperate!

Fate, tragedy, comedy, philosophy, shoes, the whole crazy thing called life. What is it for? I ask you! Is it worth living when the icons of all that is good and fabulous in this world betray our trust and allow the very unfabulous into their lives? Shall we all throw ourselves onto our divans and mourn the loss of style and class in the world? No, I say we fight it. Fight for the shoes and fabulosity of women everywhere. In fact, let's start a shoerrism movement. Some people might throw red paint on fur coats; we'll throw bunion remedies on people who wear Crocs. They might as well announce to the world that they have them, right? Instead of stocking a bunker with canned goods and survivalist knives that do everything from skin a frog to plunge a toilet, we'll stock up on the latest in fabulous shoes. Oh yes! we will fight you! And we will win! Why? Because we're fabulous. Duh.

I can get down with a fringe movement that focuses on shoes.

Today's favorite shoe:

Salvatore Ferragamo

Liesl, 7N

I was sitting on the balcony of my mother's condo tonight watching the fireworks and talking to her friend Chantal when they topic inevitably turned to shoes. We were talking about the lack of closet space in older homes and lamenting the fact that if you want a home with character you need one that has an extra bedroom for a closet for shoes. I have to wonder if women in earlier eras didn't have the access to fabulous shoes that we have today.

Anthropologists and archaeologists will tell you that you can often discern the history of a person by their shoes. I think that is true today. For example, if you see a woman walking down the street who is dressed to kill except she has on tennies, you can know she is going to work. After all, she wouldn't be wearing tennies into a restaurant or store or museum when she's dressed well. You can't change your shoes just outside, so she's clearly going to work. She isn't wealthy enough to have a driver, so she's working class. See how easy it is?

If you see a woman walking around in Crocs and she is not on her own property gardening, you can be sure that her history involves some sort of final defeat between her pride and her willingness to put comfort over all else. There's nothing wrong with being comfortable, but do we wear our PJs to the opera? Do we wear them to the upscale mall? No. Wearing Crocs is the same thing and shouldn't be done.

One more? when you see a woman strutting herself like she knows she's fabulous in 4-inch Manolos, you can be sure she knows the value of beautiful, well made shoes. While this can't tell us anything about her social status, it does tell us about her intelligence. She must have above average intelligence to be able to recognize true art in its wearable form. She clearly cares about how she looks but doesn't shove it down your throat with branding laid bare; only those in the know will know which label she is wearing. This woman is the woman we should all aspire to be: chic, intelligent, sophisticated and fabulous. In other words, she listened to Suz and I and benefited from it forever.

There is nothing wrong with judging a person by the shoes they wear; how else will you know if they are someone you wish to allow into your life?

Today's favorite shoe:

Roberto Cavalli "J6708"

Liesl, 7N

My mother was at it again today. She told me she had been to Nordstrom's and seen the most beautiful shoes she had ever seen. That isn't the problem, of course. The problem was that she told me this while I had a mouth full of crispy beef taco and she didn't want to go straight there once I swallowed.

Who is this woman? Little girls often fantasize that they are secret princesses and that someday our true family will come and get us and restore us to our throne and crown. Well, I fantasized about that until I left for college; by then I had to admit that my secret royal blood was going to have to remain a secret since my secret family was allowing me to go off into the world without their acknowledgment. Cold bastards!

The point remains, I think I was on to something all those years ago; I cannot believe the woman who claims to be my mother would not see the wisdom in immediately putting down our forks and heading straight to Nordstrom's to see these beautiful of all beautiful shoes. Clearly, she was the wet nurse who somehow got saddled with my blue blooded fabulousness. It's not unlike a fairy tale with a more realistic ending: the fairy princess is forced to suffer the slings and arrows of fate in Dallas with a limited budget and the misunderstanding of the people who are supposed to love and understand her. Let's face it, fabulosas: the only royalty in my life are men who have a fondness for interior design and fabulous hair.

If you think you might be my royal family, send me shoes. I've suffered long enough.

Today's favorite shoe:

Valentino

Liesl, 7N

I am the professor you wish you had in college. I use shoes to illustrate my points in class many times and I have found they almost always apply. Just yesterday I used the example of couture shoes to express the difference in the Dasein and in synthetic judgments. I realize that I am mixing my philosophers, but it still works for me. German for German, value for value.

It went something like this: the fact that we exist in space cannot be changed and is something we know, but all the things we know about a thing are added, a posteriori, synthetic. It pained me to say it, but, the value we put on Manolo Blahnik shoes is absolutely made up by a certain group of people. Why should we allow them to attach what is utterly synthetic to a thing itself and call it valuable over all else?

Because they can and should. We are human and we define ourselves by our art and culture and there is nothing wrong with declaring one thing prettier and better than other things. Otherwise, I'd have a so called masterpiece in the museum and a Kandinsky on my wall because it would not have value beyond the value I chose for it at that moment. That's the other thing about the desire to take away value: it forces value to be something unattainable, transitory and utterly beyond our grasp. Part of the reason we value things is to be able to achieve them. After all, we strive to achieve and count it one of our nobler qualities because we value things or ideas. That's a good thing.

Shoes embody value and all that is right and noble in our species.

Today's favorite shoe:

Manolo Blahnik

Suz 10N

And people wonder why the rest of the world laughs at us

From The Manolo's Shoe Blog:

http://shoeblogs.com/wordpress/2007/06/12/impeach-him/#comments

I don't know what to say. I really don't. Not only is he wearing crocs, but he's wearing them with Presidential Seal socks.

Fellow Americans I plead with you to wear good shoes. The photo clearly illustrates how wrong crocs are. Worse yet, with socks. Also, don't wear socks with pictures on them. Even if you are the President and the picture is the Presidential Seal. Just. Don't.

Speaking of being international and all, I just returned from a whirlwind trip to London. I looked at lots of shoes. Sadly, I did not buy. The exchange rate is TERRIBLE. I was relieved to see only one person wearing crocs while I was there, and I suspect they were American.

It's been a long, long time since I traveled overseas. Imagine my surprise when I cleared security at Heathrow only to be thrust into a giant duty-free shopping mall! There were shoe stores everywhere. Including one my favorites - Ferragamo. I went in to look around. The salesperson was lovely. I explained I could not buy, but oh, how I loved the shoes. She very kindly allowed me to peruse the offerings at my leisure, and politely ignored my little gasps and moans as I caressed a particularly fine pair. It was such a pleasurable end to my trip.

I can guarantee you she would not have been so accommodating had I been wearing crocs.


Today's Shoe:

Salvatore Ferragamo Salut 1 Python Pump