Mr. Fancy Pants and I were driving down the freeway on Saturday night and talking about how a privileged upbringing can sometimes cause one to miss out on the simpler pleasures in life, like parking lot carnivals and paper plates. As we were passing a store that advertises all shoes $9.95 Mr. Fancy Pants blurted out, "Why don't you shop there?" It was all I could do to not push him out of the speeding car.
I've never been to that particular shoe store; I think it's obvious that they would have nothing for me. I can get down with a cheap pair of flips and I can get down with a cheap pair of tennies*, but I fail to see how a shoe store that has any self respect at all would willingly advertise their cheap nature. They might as well slap some proverbial hot pants on and proverbially give the milk away for free. Needless to say, I will not ever be gracing that store with my presence. I buy my organic milk at a premium. Could be the privileged upbringing; or, it could be that I have good taste.
Back to Mr. Fancy Pants: What to do? I find myself questioning who this man is and why I married him. I recognize that I couldn't have found my, ahem, solemate in male form if I wanted to marry a heterosexual, but I thought I had taught him more than to even consider stringing cheap shoes in a sentence with my name. I think I might have to invent a class that teaches husbands, boyfriends, and butchy lesbian lovers how to truly appreciate a fabulosa's clear entitlement to fabulous shoes. I'll call it, Liesl's Introduction to Wants Superseding Needs class. That works quite nicely!
In my class you will learn that shoes are universally valuable above all other a priori concepts.
*As long as you aren't using them for exercising. Oh, wait a minute! they aren't for anything else and we do not wear them outside of the gym or street race. Never mind!
Today's favorite shoe:
Giuseppe Zanotti "E7020"
Tuesday, March 04, 2008