It's A Fine Line Between Pleasure and Pain

Suz, 10N

I did something special today. Something I have never done before. Something I've only dreamed about, but never actually acted upon.

Today, I tried on a pair of Jimmy Choos. And they were good. My feet have now been shod in the most fabulous of fabulous.

I popped my Choo Cherry.

The day started out innocently enough. Went to work, dealt with a couple of problems, and then it was time for lunch. My friend R wanted to get something to wear under the bridesmaid dress she has to wear on Friday. Spanx. If you don't know what Spanx are, you need to learn. But that's another topic for another day. Anyhow, the closest location that sells them to our office is Saks. So off we went. As we stood in the elevator, the shoe department was calling me. We took care of R's errand, and then indulged ourselves. We went shoe shopping at Saks.

You might think people would find us odd, as we cavorted through the displays, picking up Yves St. Laurent here, Christian Loboutin there. Cooing over them. Gasping in delight. No one seemed to find it odd. I don't think we were the only ones.

And then...

we spied the sales racks.

First, I tried on a beautiful pair of Stuart Weitzman evening sandals. Magenta silk. Peep toe. 4" heel. Next, a pair of Pucci espadrille thongs. My hands stopped of their own accord over the Choos. Gently lifted them from the rack. They were a pair of platform sandals. In denim. 4" heels on these, too. Ankle strap. I stood there, balancing on one leg, while I slipped my foot into one. It felt like I had come home. R ooohed and ahhhhed. They looked so good on my feet. Let me tell you, the thought of a 4" heel may sound painful and scary, but dear God, these felt like slippers. I shit you not. I stood there in them for a good couple of minutes. Mentally trying to find the money somewhere. They were originally $575, but on sale for $350! Finally, R got practical, and reminded me we had to get back to work. I reluctantly took the shoes off and returned them to the rack.

I was sad.

Fast forward to tonight. I get home from work. I kick off my ballet flats, and go on a search for my slippers. I love my slippers. They're called Zaks, and my sister-in-law gave them to me for Christmas years ago, swearing they were the most comfortable slippers ever. She's right. I have worn them out. They are in a sorry state. They have holes in the toes, and the fleece lining is popping out. So my husband Bruce looks at them, and says "you need a new pair of slippers for your birthday" (which is July 29, if anyone is interested...) I responded - "no, what I need for my birthday are the Choos I tried on today at Saks!"

Bruce: WHAT were you doing trying on Choos at Saks?!!!
Me: I HAD to.
Bruce: $350 is too much money to pay for a pair of shoes.
Me: Are you high?
Bruce: That's as much as 2 8 balls cost!
Me: I'd get more enjoyment from the shoes for longer than I would a couple of 8 balls.

There are two things here that stand out. One, I have found grounds for divorce from Bruce. Speaking against the cost of the Choos is sacreligious. Yet, I have found another reason to love him.

My husband knows what Choos are.

I'm a lucky girl.

Today's shoe. The Choos, in all their glory. Except not in denim, because I couldn't find a picture.

Jimmy Choo - Velvet Platform Sandals>

The Colors! The Colors!

Suz, 10N

"You can tell a woman likes shoes if she's wearing bright blue loafers"

This keen observation was made by one of my colleagues yesterday. She was talking about me, of course.

She also was wearing a fabulous pair of peep-toe, black suede pumps with a wood platform wedge. To die for!

Anyway, her comment got me thinking. What does your choice of shoe color say about you? Do you play it safe with neutrals, or do you break out the bright blue loafers? I like shoes of color. I have a pair of red snakeskin boots, my blue loafers. silver slingbacks, gold ballroom dancing shoes (yes, you read that right), burgundy suede ankle boots, well, you get the picture. I still don't have as many colorful shoes as I think I should, though.

I notice when I wear any of the more colorful shoes in my wardrobe, I feel better. There's a spring in my step, a little sashay to my stride. Conversely, when I wear my more staid and boring shoes, I tend to slump a little. Not that I have many staid and boring shoes, mind.

I'm not knocking a fabulous pair of black pumps. Not ever. They are always right and always in good taste. But a fabulous pair of red pumps is right up there. Or black patent, which is a whole 'nother animal.

The only exceptions to my colorful shoe love are the ones you know I hate about all others. Crocs. Those suckers are hideous. I hope that is a trend that dies a swift and horrible, painful death.

So bust out the color, my dear friends! Your feet and your pscyhe will thank you for it!

Today's shoe:


BCBG Max Azria 'Mallies' Sandal

Liesl, 7N

Seventeen years ago I was just leaving Dallas to spend the summer in Tours, France. I was going to live with a family and immerse myself in the language at the Institut de Touraine. That also happened to be the summer of the 200th anniversary of Bastille Day. I really don't have words enough to describe the party in Paris that year. As always, my summer was about shoes as much as anything else.

I was with a group from SMU in a study abroad program; we spent the first week in Paris just having fun and touring the city. I had left for Paris with two pairs of shoes because I knew I wanted to buy shoes and clothes there rather than bring a huge suitcase with me. Unfortunately, the walking shoes I brought were woefully inadequate and I didn't have time to search for shoes in the first week we spent in Paris. I ended up borrowing another girl's Keds and tooling around Paris looking like a bobbysoxer. That was OK for the time being; I would have time for shoes later.

When we left Paris and moved to Tours we went our separate ways to separate families and were free to spend our time doing whatever we pleased. On the first day in Tours I headed to the Place (one of the oldest in France) to look around in shops and get the feel for Tours, a lovely old town. As I was strolling through the Place I spotted something in a shoe store window: a pair of bright red ballet flats with bright red satin laces. I immediately knew that I had to have those shoes. Unfortunately, they were $200 and that was too rich for my student's budget. All summer I cajoled and pleaded with my mother long distance to let me use her Amex to buy those shoes. Finally, as the summer was ending she relented and I rushed to the store to buy them. They were Fiorucci and they were fabulous.

I never wore those shoes. I finally broke down, twelve years later and took them to the Goodwill. It was a huge mistake and I regret it to this day. I was moving from Los Angeles to Lubbock (gack!) and trying to start anew. Trust me ladies, giving away your little pieces of fabulous to the Goodwill is never the way to start over. Never.

Today's Favorite Shoe:

Jimmy Choo

Liesl, 7N

I had a dream the other night that I was shopping for fabulous shoes at Bergdorf's. I was trying on impossibly high stilettos and trying valiantly to appear stable in them but failing miserably. I finally gave up and tried to convince a chic looking woman to buy a pair of Escada sandals. She told me she couldn't because she had children. I woke up and thought, now there's a valid reason not to have children.

Most people dream of flying; I dream of fabulous shoes.

Today's Favorite Shoe:

Charles Mang "Miss Jones"

Liesl, 7N

Crocs are taking over the world, aren't they? I was shopping at Dillard's the other day and noticed that they not only have them in the shoe department, but they also have them on display in other parts of the store. As my friend Jen says, shoes should never come on a hang tag.

Speaking of Jen: we went to Target (happy place) the other day to look for something. What was it? I don't remember. Anyway, I didn't know Target had knock offs of designer shoes! How did I not know this? We were walking past the shoe department and there, in the middle of the first aisle, was a Manolo knock off. Granted, it wasn't nearly as elegant and really didn't look like a Manolo, but there it was in all its glory. Unfortunately, there were also Croc knock offs. However, we proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that Jen's son Braden is the smartest kid on the planet. He saw the Crocs, yelled, "No Crocs!" and tried to run away. Oh yeah, I love that kid.

I know I obsess over Crocs, but people! a shoe that can go in the dishwasher has to be something we all reject. Has.to.be. And for the record? the last time I was in the po po none of the nurses were wearing Crocs. I checked!

Today's Favorite Shoe:

Pedro Garcia "Doris"

Suz, 10N

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

Or something like that. I haven't been blogging much because I started a new job, and it's taking up all my time. I haven't even shopped for shoes. The HORROR.

One of the many good things about my new job is that there are many women there who love shoes. A lot. There are fabulous shoes walking around that office on a regular basis.

Which leads me to the story I must tell. One of my new colleagues told me this story the other day, and I knew I had to share it. She graciously has allowed me to post it here.

R is Columbian. She travels there regularly to visit family and friends. When she was a teenager, she was taking a bus trip with her father, her friend, and her friend's mother. So they're driving down a mountain in a bus. Apparently, the bus had brake problems. The driver knew this, and was being careful as he drove down the mountain. Not careening at a high rate of speed, or anything like that. It was raining. The bus hit a slick spot, the brakes failed, and the bus flipped over into a ditch filled with water.

R remembers getting out of the bus. Her friend was out of the bus as well, screaming for her mother. R realized that she couldn't walk properly. "Was she hurt?" you ask. No, thank God. She had lost one of her shoes. Shoes she was fond of. So she did what any of us would do. She started to look for it. Which involved crawling back into the bus to search for it amidst the muck and detritus of the accident. She finally finds it floating along and puts it back on.

She then sees her dad draped over her friend's mom, passed out. Her friend's mom is trying to push him off her. Her friend is still screaming for her mother. But R has her shoe.

Her dad woke up, he was fine, got off her friend's mom, and everyone got out, none the worse for the wear, just bumps and bruises. And a recovered shoe.

R is my kind of woman.

Today's Shoe:

Charles Daved 'Whist' Sandal

Liesl, 7N

My very good friend from Los Angeles came to town last weekend; she is marrying a local boy whose family has a lake house and we all went there for Memorial Day weekend. On the way there we stopped over at Shelley's future mother in law's apartment to get a new suitcase for Shelley. Imagine my utter delight when I opened a hall closet in a search for a suitcase and instead found the closet full of Manolos! Needless to mention, Shelley and I got them all out and oohed and aahed over them, making sure not to get any drool on their fabulousness.

Here's the thing: this was a coat closet full of fabulous shoes; imagine this! they were spillover! I didn't open her bedroom closet, though I was dying to, but I assume it was also filled with fabulous shoes. I'm having a hot flash just thinking about it. I need a mint julep. OK anyway... when we got to the lake and told Debbie (future mother in law) that we had found her coat closet shoes she looked at us with a puzzled look on her face. I described exactly where they were and she finally realized which closet we were talking about. She had forgotten about those shoes! It got me to thinking: why is it excess to some and something we covet to others?

I know some people who have several luxury cars, though there are only two people in their family. I have always thought it was complete excess and just ridiculous. But I know that if they had a walk in closet full of $800 shoes I would think it was simply fabulous. Who is to say one is more excessive than the other? We all have something we would collect or buy if we had the money to do it that others would think is silly. My husband would buy Katanas, which seems odd to me. I would buy shoes and art (same thing, right?) which would seem odd to some of my friends. Who am I to judge others for spending their money on the things they find to be fabulous? After all, I've pressed my nose to the Chanel store window more than once; if I could afford to go in and buy? you're damn straight sure I would do it.

Now stop picturing me as a poor waif being chased away from Chanel.

Today's Favorite Shoe:

Manolo Blahnik

Liesl, 7N

I have to wonder how much I would really spend on a pair of shoes. As I peruse the Manolos and the Choos I start to get used to the prices; I get so used to them that when I come across a beautiful pair of shoes for $300 I think they are reasonably priced. Why are beautiful shoes so expensive?

I think they are really expensive because you're not just paying for the shoe and the name; you're also paying for something fabulous to escort you into the world. When you walk down the street to go to your job or to lunch or to Chanel, doesn't it feel better when you have slices of fabulous on your feet? Your feet are literally the things that carry you through life, they should be celebrated. All of the best things we do are on our feet. We dance, we marry, we toast, we hug. And when we talk about doing the right thing we say we stand up for what is right. Our feet are our ambassadors to life.

When you kick that man to the curb, do it while wearing some fabulous Gladstones.
When you stand up to the neighborhood bully, do it while wearing some fabulous Charles Davids.
When you walk away from a bad situation, do it while wearing some fabulous Manolos.
And when you walk into the rest of your life, make sure the shoes that carry you there make you feel as fabulous as you know you are.

So yes, expensive shoes are worth every penny.

Today's Favorite Shoe:

Vera Wang

Liesl, 7N

There is now a very good reason not to shop at Payless: you might get rabies.

I was right! That is all.

Today's Favorite Shoe:

Alexandra Neel Castel

Liesl, 7N

OK, what is with this new fad of high heeled pumps with long shorts? Really, who decided on this? Is it a joke some designer is playing on all of us? Yeah, the 80s called and they want their fashion don't back.

I loved the 80s; I was a teenager in the 80s and I miss the carefree days of naiveté we all had back then. The 80s were a time of huge shoulder pads, lots and lots of gel in our streaked hair, converse high tops, and primary colors. We had pretensions of being badasses when we listened to the Sex Pistols and pretensions of being sophisticated when we listened to Spandau Ballet. Men in suits singing about love? Yes, please. The thing we also had was the revolutionary idea that models were suddenly super and fashion was accessible to everyone. Who couldn't pair leggings with an oversized shirt and ginormous belt to look like Linda Evangelista out for a night of clubbing? Tunnel, anyone?

Alas, we looked pretty ridiculous in the 80s. I submit, to my shame, some evidence of this ridiculousness. Please excuse the quality of our scanner:

Here I am in a junior prom photo. Notice the hair? The sleeves? This one is particularly shameful for me since I designed the dress:


Here I am the next year in what can only be described as the worst thing to happen to flowers since people started dyeing carnations blue:


Here I am in college, late 80s. Do you remember when we wore oversized jackets with huge buttons and even huger shoulder pads? Is huger a word? Anyway, I was working that jacket! Do you like the big white buttons?


Here I am at a birthday party one year. I can't remember how old I was but do you dig the big hair and big shoulder pads? How about my friend, god love her, wearing Docs and a dress. We were the shit:


OK, so it wasn't all bad in the 80s. Do you remember wearing the oversized sweater with the short skirt and tights? I had all kinds of funky colors and patterns in tights. I think I even had some argyle tights. Who knew that years later when you aged a bit you could achieve the same pattern on your legs without the help of leg coverings?


Ladies, please! leave the 80s where they belong: in bad quality photographs and hazy memories of wanting to live the punk/preppie/new wave life.

Today's favorite shoe:

Claudia Ciuti Ruth

Liesl, 7N

Why do designers push the ugly envelope? It always strikes me as so jarring when I am walking through the shoe department at Neiman's, lovingly fondling the Manolos and Ferragamos,only to come upon some hideous creation of couture. Why? Edgy does not mean pretty!

You know you've seen the shoes I am talking about; edgy, downtown meets cottage in Rhode Island "chic." In our ever imploding space why is it we feel we need to meld styles to create ugly, butt ugly! couture? Since when do L.L. Bean and Manolo go together? You know the shoes I'm talking about; uh huh, yeah you do. Who told Guiseppe Zanotti that huge platform foam heels would look good with patent leather half tennies, complete with bow? Who told Marc Jacobs that hospital green was a good color for a wedge? Who told Roberto Cavalli that leopard print and cork are a good combination?

Designers, please! Imagine your shoes on feet and try to imagine those feet looking good in your shoes. No one looks good in duck boots, even if they are fabuloused up with a pair of 3-inch heels. No one looks good in cork or hospital green. Oh, and really? the only people telling you these shoes are fabulous are the people who have their heads so far up your asses that they can't actually see the shoes.

Hope that helps!

Today's Favorite Shoe:

Dior

Suz, 10N

Saying Goodbye

It's hard to let go, sometimes. Despite all the platitudes being mouthed - "they're in a better place now", "at least they aren't suffering any longer", you still feel miserable.

A favorite pair of shoes has gone to the walk-in closet in the sky.

I hate accepting they are done. Passed on! No more! Ceased to be! Expired and gone to meet their maker. A stiff! Bereft of life, they rest in peace. Pushing up the daisies! They're off the twig! They've kicked the bucket, they've shuffled off this mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

Oops. Sorry about that. Sometimes Monty Python just takes over and you have to let them.

Where was I? Oh yes. Shoes. Giving them up. I have a pair of Ferragamo slingbacks that my cat Sebastian sank his teeth into. They are cream, and the toothmarks show. That damn cat snuck into the closet and had a field day. I took them to the cobbler, and there is no hope. Yet I can't accept they're done. They are the nicest pair of shoes I ever had.

I've tried to get over the sadness. I give Sebastian the stink eye if I see him anywhere near any pair of footwear belonging to any member of the household. I give him the stink eye just because I can. It doesn't help.

I wonder if I should seek grief counseling? Maybe I need closure. Perhaps a group therapy session would be better? Do I need to talk about my anger? Communication is important, so I'm told.

I know what I have to do. I have to let these shoes go so I can accept new ones into my heart.

Where's my charge card?

Today's Shoe

Hype 'Emilie'

Liesl, 7N

I have finally completed the grieving process for the Madden slides my dogs chewed up months ago. Walk down this path with me:

Stage 1: Denial, shock and isolation. The shock wore off pretty quickly after I realized that I had left them on the floor instead of putting them up. The dogs' behavior wasn't shocking, either. Little bastards. However, I kept those shoes in my closet for months after I knew they were gone; I was in complete denial about their demise. I did isolate them from the rest of my shoes so that they wouldn't look even more pathetic next to the whole, fabulousness of my in-one-piece shoes. This stage was hard.

State 2: Anger. I was angry about these shoes for months. Every time I would look for the perfect shoe for my new brown skirt and think of the brown and black slides I would get mad all over again. How could they have chewed up my favorite shoes?? And not just one pair, but two! Don't they know how lucky they all are?? They were all rescued from bad situations and THIS is how they repay me? um... maybe I'm not entirely through with this stage.

Stage 3: Bargaining. I have searched all over Dallas for an appropriate pair of slides to replace the Maddens. I came close with a black pair but they just don't quite make the connection. I've substituted color and material to try and replicate those shoes but nothing has worked. I finally realized that there would be no bargaining with the fashion gods for the Maddens.

Stage 4: Depression. This stage nearly destroyed my soul. I bought a pair of Clark's during this stage and forced myself to wear a pair of unfabulous shoes. I noticed a student looking at them derisively but I felt I deserved that derision for losing my Maddens. I turned down party invitations and lady lunches because I just couldn't face going without my favorite shoes. It was a dark time. I finally lifted myself out of it when Nordstrom's opened in Dallas. After all, there will be other shoes, right?

Stage 5: Acceptance. I did finally accept the loss of my Maddens when I was walking by their new store at Northpark Mall (happy place) and noticed a beautiful pair of candy apple red stilettos. Oh, they were everything a shoe should be! beautiful, bright, torturous on your feet. Yes, all was right with the world again when we can buy such fabulous Maddens. Slides? What slides?

Today's Favorite Shoe:

Steve Madden Camelia

Liesl, 7N

Let's talk about discount shoes, specifically Payless Shoe Stores. When I was a kid Payless was the place the poor people went and not a place I was allowed to go. By the time I got to college and understood that I was no longer going to be buying my shoes at Neiman's, Payless seemed like an OK alternative. However, they never really had shoes I would consider wearing.

My, how things change! Payless now has near copies of all of the popular styles for prices that fit almost any budget. So, I have to ask myself: can I get over my shoe snobbery and shop at Payless? I have no problem admitting it: NO. It's not that I think I am better than Payless shoes (though I do), but more that I am very particular about what I put on my feet. It has been my experience that you get what you pay for in life and my feet deserve better than cheap shoes. Would I price shop when looking for a plastic surgeon? Of course not! Why would I do the same when looking for the little pieces of fabulous we call shoes?

The bottom line is, I value shoes too much to wear cheap shoes. If the shoe wasn't designed by a master shoe designer it isn't worth my dainty foot stepping one toe into its cheap smelling cheapness. I mean, have you ever noticed that Payless doesn't smell like other shoe stores? And honey! you can't mask the smell of cheap shoes. If they don't smell like happiness then your feet are too good for them.

Oh, and don't try to pass off cheap Payless shoes in stripper pictures as couture. Chances are good that if you need to sell naked pictures of yourself on the internet you are not going to be doing it in Manolos. Leave the joy of nice shoes to the people with class.

Today's Favorite Shoe:

Stuart Weitzman Sensual

Suz, 10AA

Cheap Shoes Look Cheap. Sometimes.

Shoes can be expensive. Even if you're not looking to buy a pair of Choos, you can still easily spend upwards of $100 for a decent shoe. Which means the low-budget shoe chains, like Payless and Parade of Shoes are very, very tempting for some people.
I am torn about these stores. I don't shop in them because they don't carry my size. They seem to cater to people with average or wide feet. I do go in on occasion though. I can see why people shop there. They have knock offs of designer styles, for under $30. I think that if you're looking for a really trendy shoe, these stores just might be the place. It's hard to justify paying much more than $30 for a shoe that's only going to be in style this year. I'm not really a trendy shoe girl myself, so this isn't a problem for me.

Yet amongst the trendy shoes, I see some of the most horrific examples of shoe design known to man. Blocky heels, fake leather, plastic. I mean, I guess you get what you pay for. I try to imagine what one would wear these shoes with, and I can't. The mental images of these shoes being worn makes me want to poke my mind's eye out with a sharp stick.

I suppose there is a place for these stores. People need shoes. Not everyone can afford to spend even $50 on a pair. It's hard for me to look down my nose at people who shop there, because I don't know their circumstances.

Beware, however, those of you who think to pass off your cheap knockoffs as the real deal. I'm no fool, and I can spot you a mile away.

Just because your shoe says it's Isaak Mizrahi, honey, doesn't make it designer.

Today's shoe:

'British' by Valentina

Liesl, 7N

We've all fallen prey to fads and what we put on our feet is not excluded from this indiscretion. Personally, I don't like wedges and I don't think you will see many of them in a season or two. I think there are always those styles that are destined for Goodwill rather than the vintage shop around the corner. And that's the difference: timelessness or folly.

I think my worst fad transgression must be L.L. Bean Duck boots. They were IT when I was in high school. But you couldn't just wear them with the laces tied like a normal person; no, no, you had to wear them with the laces undone and some thick socks peeking out. We wore them with skirts, too. Oy. You have to know that when a shoe is unisex it probably isn't going to be haute couture. Of course, I did see some duck boot heels a few years ago at Neiman's. It made me shudder. Anyway, I think it's usually obvious which shoes will be vintage and which will be Goodwill, so the question remains: To fad or not to fad?

My gut feeling on this is that, if you have the money and the inclination, why not? As long as you know that the shoe you are buying is probably not destined to be worn for long and you're OK with that, I think it's OK to fad. You know how I feel about my shoes and my inability to let them go, so I cannot fad. However, not all hot shoes are fads. For example, the bejeweled sandals we're seeing everywhere right now; some of them are too faddish to last but many of them have classic enough lines and understated enough bling to last us for years to come. I suppose it's all about the pretty factor. Mama like her pretty!

The moral of the story is this: Duck boots should stay in 1985.

Today's Favorite Shoe:

Rene Caovilla

Liesl, 7N
I spend a fair amount of time looking at shoes online. I usually say something like, "Oh! I like that!" or "Oh! pretty!" when I see a pair of shoes I really like. Every now and then, however, I see a pair of shoes that makes me groan with desire. Ladies and gentlemen, it is time to talk about the shoegasm.

When I opened the link for the Betsey Johnson shoes below I found myself groaning over the pinky prettyness and thinking about what they would look like on my feet. My excitement rose as I imagined a foot sliding into the shoe and wrapping the straps around my delicate ankle. As I imagined standing up in the shoes I almost couldn't take the desire for them anymore. The only release I truly see would be the purchase of those shoes: Shoegasm completus.

I don't recommend groaning over shoes in public. I do tend to lovingly fondle shoes at Neiman's and Nordstrom's but I find that if I stay too long or make my shoegasm eyes too obvious they will start to look at me funny. And then? well, I clearly need to buy several pairs of shoes to prove that I am not some freak who only likes to fondle the pretties. No, no, I need to take them home to fondle them.

Shoegasms can replace all kinds of bodily needs; they fill a void, you know.

Today's Favorite Shoe:

Betsey Johnson Carissa

Suz, 10AA

I'm Going to Say Something Naughty


Shoegasm.

There. I said it. Shoegasm. Shoegasm. Shoegasm. My breathing is getting heavy just thinking about it. Who needs Anais Nin when you have shoes?

Come on. Be honest. You've had a shoegasm at least once in your life. You know what it is. When you walk by a store window, and there, prominently displayed, is The Shoe. You stop dead in your tracks. The person walking behind you crashes into you. They curse you. You don't hear it. You are mesmerized by The Shoe.

You gaze at it in awe for several minutes. You imagine it on your foot. You imagine how lovely your foot is going to look in it. You imagine the envious stares of all who see you striding down the street in The Shoe. You feel a little tingle of joy. You do some quick math in your head.

You enter the store, and ask to try on The Shoe. The salesperson brings it out. They unwrap the tissue paper cushioning it. They remove The Shoe from the box and show it to you. Meanwhile, you have prepared your foot to receive The Shoe. Old shoes off, you stretch your toes, roll your ankles, and allow the salesperson to place The Shoe on your foot. You extend your leg to look at how beautifully The Shoe enhances the line of your leg. You allow the salesperson to place The Shoe's mate on your other foot. You stand, and do the walk. Over and over. Staring at your feet in those mirrors on the floor.

The Shoe must be yours. You must have it. You gently remove them and wrap them safely back in the tissue paper. The salesperson brings them up to the register. You put on your old shoes again. You sit for a moment, breathing deeply. Then, you go to the register, whip out the plastic, and make those babies yours.

You walk out of the store with The Shoe safely wrapped and contained in its shopping bag. The day seems brighter. The world friendlier. You are satisfied.

Today's shoe:

Manolo Blahnik 'Grommet' Pump

Liesl, 7N

Ladies, it is pedicure time. I know it's been awhile since you needed to have your feet in sandal condition and I hope some of you had the foresight to start getting pedicures months ago in preparation for nice weather. For the rest of my shoe sisters, it is time. Grab your favorite polish and head to your local nail salon. Pay no mind to the scare tactics of the nightly news and their bacteria at nail salon stories. They just don't have pretty sandals and they're jealous!

There is a time in a woman's life when she needs to embrace power tools. No, I do not mean that you need to hunt through your garage and whip out your power screwdriver. (mind out of the gutter, ladies) The power tool we all need to embrace is the Dremel tool used with such loving care on your winter calluses at your local nail salon. I think it might be possible to measure your hibernation by the amount of skin dust floating around after your heels have been Dremeled into presentable sandal wearing heels. Please, let them Dremel your calluses; I do not want to see big cliffs of skin hanging off the end of someone's strappy Choos.

I would also like to point out that a French manicure looks ridiculous on toes. You don't grow your toenails out so that the bed is pink and the outgrown nail is white, right? So why would you mimic that look on your toenails? The French manicure mimics nature and what our nails would look like if they were totally healthy and clean all the time. Seriously, the thought of someone growing out their toenails to mimic their fingernails is just gross. Don't do it.

What color are your toenails today? Leave comments and tell me! Mine are pale blue.

Today's Favorite Shoe:

Christian Dior

The Importance of Good Grooming

Suz, 10N


First, in an earlier post, I said that I thought sandals should not be worn until leaves are on the trees. Probably May. I forgot that in NYC, some of the trees have their leaves already. So, I am going to revise my opinion. If it's 70 degrees or warmer in April, sandals are ok.

Which leads to today's topic. Good grooming. Especially when it comes to your feet.

Ladies (and gents), under no circumstances should your toes make an appearance in public without first having received a pedicure. I don't care if you do one at home, or go to a salon, but you must have those feet in shape. There is very little more revolting than to look at someone's feet in their sandals, and see ragged toenails, dry skin, and cracked heels. Not to mention toe cheese. My first question is how can you stand your own feet looking like that, and second, how dare you subject the rest of us to them?

So, take care of those tootsies. I recommend a salon pedicure to at least get you started. For maintenance, a pumice stone at the end of your shower does the trick. Apply some moisturizer (not too much) when you get out of the shower, and you're good to go. If you apply too much, you will slide around in your shoes, which can lead to serious injury. Trust me. I know. I broke my foot once because my foot slid off a pair of Easy Spirit slides. Imagine my horror. June, and I had to have a cast up to my knee. But you know what? I kept getting pedicures on my good foot. And the nail tech would file and repolish my toes peeking out of the cast. I have also never worn Easy Spirits again.

Speaking of polish - it is not required to have well-groomed feet. It is a personal preference. As long as your feet are neat and clean, you are good to go. However - if you polish - you must maintain! No chipped and peeling polish on your toes, please! It's almost as bad as scaly toes.

If you have the misfortunate of having hairy toes, you should shave them. Or wax them. Or Nair them. Ladies should not have hairy toes. Gents, I'm not into your hairy toes either, but I guess I have to live with them.

Take care of your feet. Treat yourself to a pedicure. They feel so good, and you deserve a little pampering. As does the rest of the public who have to see your feet in sandals.

Today's Shoe:

Emilio Pucci '763947' Sandal

Liesl, 7N

Crocs are what is wrong with this country. When the people of this country think it is OK to wear brightly colored plastic shoes in public we know we've got a serious epidemic going on; I name this epidemic: Don'tCareHowILookFascitis.

Darlings! is there a reason you think that plastic shoes that make your feet smell like ass are a good idea? I know that comfortable shoes are a good thing and we can't always wear our most fabulous Manolos; however, there is a difference between sacrificing comfort for fabulous and having comfortable shoes that borrowed a bit of fabulous from their 4-inch Charles David sisters.

Look at our country today: Hawaiian shirt production is up and it has never been made illegal to wear socks with sandals. When it's possible to still buy a visor with the latest Nascar logo splashed across its bill then you know this country has some serious issues. Perhaps if we banned such things as tube socks and gold lame we'd have a happier, prettier world. More people would say hello and smile at you if you were wearing something fabulous. Politics would be populated by people who truly knew what was important: fashion. Stray dog populations would be down due to the need to have something to walk while showing off your fabulous shoes. Let's face it, life would be that much sweeter if bad fashion were illegal.

All of you reading this blog, stand up! Stand up now and go to your windows and doors and open them! Open them wide and yell: "I'm mad at Crocs and I'm not gonna wear them anymore!" Now throw those Crocs in the trash and say hello to a better tomorrow.

Today's Favorite Shoe:

Stuart Weitzman Mystery

More on Ugly Shoes

Suz, 10N

Liesl and I were chatting the other day. We came to a conclusion. Crocs are what is wrong with America. Crocs exemplify the lack of care and general apathy of the middle class towards everything, even personal appearance.

"But Suz, they're so comfortable" I don't give a rats' ass. I have comfortable shoes that aren't made out of plastic and look like something my car threw up on the street. I care about how I look. That includes my shoes. I don't like to look sloppy. I like to look like I take pride in my person.

I think Crocs are lazy. I think it's easier to just go along with the crowd and buy them. Then you don't have to consider anything. Just be told what to do, and you save yourself so much aggravation!

"But Suz, aren't you and Liesl telling us what to wear?"

No. No we are not. We are asking you to think about fashion, and your appearance and the beautiful shoes that are available. We want you to appreciate the beauty and art of good design. We want you to believe that you deserve to have such things in your life.

"But Suz, I don't care what other people think! I like them, they're comfortable, and that's good enough for me."

Sorry - what people think does matter. Like it or not, people judge you by your appearance. The impression given is that if you can't be bothered to take the time to look your best, you're not going to be bothered to take the time to do anything else well either. That applies to everything in life, not just work. You may be the nicest person in the world, but if you look like hell, it's going to color people's perceptions of you.

So friends - take a good look in the mirror before you go out. Honestly appraise the impression you are making on the rest of the world. Take some pride and care in your appearance. You deserve to look good. You deserve to have nice things. Stop dumbing down your wardrobe.

You are all beautiful - show it off!

Today's Shoe

Clark's 'Poe' Mule

Liesl, 7N

Some shoes should be against the law, and ladies! I am the hanging judge of this here town and I am going to lay down the law.

Birkenstocks? I hereby sentence you to banishment to Elba. May you never have a Waterloo and may we never hear from you again.

Crocs? I hereby sentence you to be hung by your insteps until you are dead. May no one have mercy on your soles.

SAS? I hereby sentence you to hard community service in the salt mines. And by service I mean hard labor.

White pumps? I hereby sentence you reeducation since I can see where you're trying to go. After you've reformed into something more respectable, submit yourself for inspection to this court and we shall see what we will do with you.

Let these examples be a reminder of what we do with ugly shoes in this town. Let no ugly shoe dare step foot into this shoe town and let it be known that if one does, it will be judged on the spot. They don't call us fabulous for nothing!

Today's Favorite Shoe:

Donald J. Pliner Ceel

Suz, 10N

No Ugly Shoes!

There should be a ban on ugly shoes. You know the ones I'm talking about. The sturdy oxford, the hippie sandal/clog, the thick-heeled pumps and slides.

Worse yet, is that people wear them. I'm not sure why. I totally understand the need for comfort, and if you have problems with your feet, 3" heels are not for you. But that does not mean you must wear ugly.

Why are these shoes even made? Who comes up with these designs? Why did these designs even make it off the design table, let alone actually get manufactured?

This leads me to another thought. WHY do shoe manufacturers think that someone with large, wide feet, wants to wear ugly shoes? (or large narrow feet, but I have more options). A friend recently asked for help in finding shoes for her size 9.5 WW feet. Let me tell you, the pickins were slim. Nordstrom's had a few options. Zappos has quite a few, which is nice. But honestly, why should it be so hard? Why should a young attractive woman who cannot help her shoe size be relegated to the dregs of shoe fashion?

Shoe manufacturers, take heed! You are missing out on a huge market. If you made more attractive shoes available to women with hard to fit feet, you'd make a boatload of cash. I guarantee it.

Today's shoe:

Linea Paolo 'Deandra' Flat

Liesl, 7N

I, like so many others, enjoy running through the rain and stomping in puddles. I also enjoy pretending to be Gene Kelly, though I think I look pretty ridiculous when I try to sing and dance in the rain. However, whether you're doing your best Liesl a la Gene Kelly impression or you're just trying to get from your car to Neiman's, you really have to remember that your shoes deserve better than a giant puddle and a watery grave. Death by puddle is no way for a fabulous pair of shoes to go.

Let's be honest, we can't control everything in life and the weather is one of those very uncontrollable things. Does this mean that we should sacrifice fashion for foot protection? Well, sort of. I see nothing wrong with admitting that the weather is preventing us from wearing our most fabulous shoes and strapping on a pair of rain boots for the road. I also see nothing wrong with changing your shoes once you get to your destination. Please remember though that it is impolite to puddle on peoples' floors, so change your shoes immediately, if at all possible. But not in front of others! That would be indelicate.

Excuse me, it looks like rain outside and I need to practice my Gene Kelly steps. If you're driving down the road and you see a red headed woman doing her best to dance like Gene Kelly and failing miserably, honk if you love shoes!

Today's Favorite Shoe:

Laurence Dacade Feric

Suz, 10N

What to wear in the rain?

Although it's been pretty dry in these parts this month, we all know that spring showers are coming. What do you wear on your feet when it rains? I notice people wear sneakers a lot. Or just their regular shoes. Or, on occasion, a boot. One of my favorite trends in the past couple of years are brightly colored rainboots. So much more cheery.

There's something to be said for regressing back to your childhood by wearing rainboots. They are also empowering. Screw you, rain, my feet are not going to get wet! This is especially key in Manhattan, where you need to walk a lot. If you're not protecting your feet, you will have very damp tootsies. That is never good. The specter of athlete's foot looms, along with modly socks, and horrors of horrors - stinkfoot.

One of the things I hate most about Manhattan in the rain are the big puddles near the street corners. Cabs often take those corners close and at a high rate of speed, which means if you're standing too close - not only are your feet soaked, but the rest of you is too. Gross.

So next time it rains, do yourself a favor. Wear something bright and cheery. It's bad enough that it's dark and damp, no need for your feet to suffer too.

Today's shoe:

Tamara Henriques Pink Toile Kitten Heel Boot

Liesl, 7N

If you are dressed in a drop dead fabulous outfit complete with 4-inch heels and your date shows up and is shorter than you in those aforementioned heels, should you change shoes? Does a man's ego take precedence over a fabulous pair of shoes?

I say, unequivocally, no. We don't need men in our lives who are intimidated by fabulous shoes; and that's really what it comes down to: it's always the shoes that scare them. If we are not naturally taller than them but are taller when we wear a fabulous pair of Louboutins, then it is the shoes they can't handle.

When Nicole Kidman went on Oprah after her split from the vertically challenged Tom Cruise she mentioned that one of the perks of being without him is her ability to wear heels. I had to wonder why she allowed the Scientology challenged Cruise to bully her into wearing lower heels. Is he so bound up with Thetans that he can't take the competition from Manolos? Is he, indeed, simply not fabulous enough to stand next to fabulousness in its true form: shoes?

We have to ask ourselves: why would we want to be with a man who is afraid of little slices of fabulous?

Today's Favorite Shoe:

Christian Louboutin

Liesl, 7N

Beautiful shoes make us feel better. I am willing to stand by that categorical statement until my dying day. I have pillowcases that say something like, "Love is like a walk through Paris in very special shoes." That sentiment is really very profound, in my opinion; we love ourselves far more when we feel like there is something special and beautiful about us; why not let that specialness center on our feet?

I think most women have at least one pair of shoes that we regard as our special shoes; the shoes we reserve for when we need to look and feel simply fabulous. What draws us to shoes? It isn't the way they look like they'd be comfortable. It isn't the way they look like you could wear them forever. No. What draws us to shoes are the fabulous lines and colors and the hint that they give us that we are special enough to deserve to wear them. They whisper to us in leather and wood: you deserve that man you've been secretly in love with, you deserve that promotion, you deserve that freshening face lift and most of all, you deserve me. You deserve to walk with the confidence of knowing you have fabulous shoes and they are taking you anywhere you want to go.

Now strut those shoes like your bad self knows you're fabulous!

Today's Favorite Shoe:

Charles David Myth

Suz, 10N

How Shoes Make You Feel Good

As I commute in to the city every day, I make mental notes on the shoes I see people wearing. The past couple of weeks have been sad. Very sad. All drab, worn, tired looking shoes. I think people have had it with cold weather, and their feet are showing it.

When I wear one of my less fabulous pairs of shoes, I feel less fabulous. I might be comfortable, but I know I don't look my best. Sometimes that's just laziness on my part, and sometimes, I feel lousy and don't care if I look it.

This is exactly the time you must revolt against the sad shoe. Your shoes reflect you. If your shoes are worn out, so are you. Never underestimate the power of a great pair of shoes to make you feel good. When I put on my favorite boots, I stop slouching and stand tall. The fact that they have 3" heels helps in that department, but I digress. I walk with an attitude, and people take me seriously. They might also be afraid of me. If I kicked someone in the nuts with those pointy toes, I could mar them for life.

When I wear my sexy silver sandals, they make me feel great. They finish off my favorite evening outfit with panache. They also look great with jeans.

Shoes are the reflection of the inner you. Who do you want to be today?

Today's Shoe

BCBG Max Azria 'Nola' Sandal

Liesl, 7N

Instead of giving something up for Lent as the Catholics do, I asked myself what I would give up for fabulous shoes. I made a list:

Eating out
Going to movies
Coffee
Ebay
Cell phones
Home alarm service
Chocolate
Pudding
Cake
Pie
Pizza
Pasta
Tacos
Target
Grapes
Pears
Apples

This is where I am giving up on that list. Those are all things I really like, mind you. I am truly willing to suffer for fabulous shoes. I think I should be the Patron Saint of Shoes. Don't you?

Today's Favorite Shoe:

Amy Jo Gladstone Bow Slipper

Suz, 10N

Liesl and I have been contemplating what we would give up for shoes. I really had to give some thought to it. Some choices were obvious. Chocolate, for one. I like it, but not that much, and if I gave it up for shoes, I'd have the added benefit of a smaller ass. Wine? Definitely not. I would never give up my wine. Even for shoes. There are some lines that cannot be crossed. Besides that, what good is looking fabulous in your shoes if you aren't accessorizing with a glass of wine at a sidewalk cafe in Manhattan in the spring? Dinner? I could give up food for shoes. Not all food, but skipping a meal now and again in order to have the shoes I want doesn't seem a bad tradeoff. Books? Never. Clothes? Well, if it's a toss up between gorgeous shoes and a new article of clothing, the shoes will win every single time. Bills? Maybe. Once upon a time I wouldn't have batted an eye at putting off paying the electric bill so I could have new shoes. Now that I'm a homeowner, that's changed. I have to be a responsible adult. No matter how much it hurts.

This all leads me to something I would definitely give up for shoes. Sleep. In fact, I did so this morning. I sleep with the TV on. At about 5:40 this morning (an ungodly hour to be sure), something woke me up. I was slightly disoriented because commercials were on, and I was trying to figure out why I woke up. The mystery was solved, as the newscast came back and the segment topic was hot spring shoe trends. I immediately became fully alert, and paid close attention. Obviously, they had promoted the segment before the commercial break, which made it through the mists of sleep into my brain.

For the record, the hot shoe trends for spring are chunky heels, platforms, wedges and espadrilles. Also ankle straps of all types.

Today's favorite shoe:

Lauren by Ralph Lauren 'Amelie' Espadrille

Suz, 10N

As Spring begins to take over little by little here in NYC, people start to get antsy. Mind, spring is still a week away. Snow is forecast for St. Patrick's Day. Yet, people are starting to jump the gun on their footwear. You know what I'm talking about. At the first sign of warm weather, they bring out the sandals. I understand this urge, truly I do. I want my feet to feel free as much as the next person. However, no matter how badly I want to, I don't indulge. Why? It's not even freakin' St. Patrick's Day yet!

Friends, if you live in the cooler climes of the United States, you must resist the urge to flaunt those toes when it's still March. It looks silly. Not to mention, many of you have not been keeping your feet in good condition over the winter, so I am subjected to your nasty toenails and scaly heels. Spare me. Please.

There is one exception to this, of course. Evening wear. You may wear evening sandals year 'round, if you like.

When can you bring out all those cute shoes? Mid-April is the earliest, I think. And then only if we're having an unusually warm spring. Otherwise, we're talking May. It's best for the leaves to be on the trees before your toes peek out of your shoes. You can then wear your sandals with impunity until the temperatures drop back into the low 60's, and the leaves turn to the golden colors of fall.

By then, you'll be ready for all the new boot styles that will be out.



Nordstrom 'Kenya' Sandal

Liesl, 7N

Several years ago I traveled home to Texas in November for a weekend visit with my mom. As I prepared to leave the house with mom for a party she took one look at my feet and made me change my shoes. Now, I'm a grown woman but I let her have her way and changed from my sandals to shoes she considered more appropriate for November. So, the question I have to ask is, are sandals the new white after labor day conundrum?

Many young girls are instructed by their mother that wearing white after labor day in the United States is an etiquette faux pas. What I wonder now is if wearing sandals in the dead of winter is going to be as accepted as winter white. I think most women know that wearing sandals in a snow storm is foolish but what if the weather is uncharacteristically balmy in February? Is it OK to strap on some strappies and prance down Park Avenue? Is global warming going to change the way we see fashion forever?

I think the true litmus test for sandal wearing should be something like, if your sandals are going to force you to dethaw your piglets when you get inside, then it's probably not a good idea to wear them. Or, if your sandal wearing is going to make you fall due to the ice and or mud, it's probably not a good idea. Of course, when there's ice and mud you wouldn't want to wear your fabulous strappies anyway, would you? In other words, there is a point where suffering for fashion really becomes fashion suffering because of you.

I have to wonder if these sandal wearing women in the dead of winter are trying to fool mother nature into thinking it is time for spring. Look ma! No socks!

Today's Favorite Shoe:

DKNY Shae

Liesl, 7N

I don't have true shoe emergencies; I have a general state of alarm between my shoes and my feet.

A friend of mine recently told me that she had thought of me and this blog when she wore cute little mules to work one day, forgetting that she was going to be doing a lot of walking. She ended up having to go to Target (happy place) to buy a new pair of shoes that wouldn't betray her feet.

There's the rub: shoes betray my feet every step of the way. Shoes invariably rub the skin off of my toes or heels or pinch my toes into deformity. Imagine trying to walk around with piglets so scrunched together that you feel like you're walking on a solid mass of flesh rather than an elegant foot with perfect little toes. I have elegant feet, for the most part; my feet are probably the type of feet shoe designers have in mind when they design shoes. They are long and narrow with very high arches. If I could live my life elegantly allowing shoe salesmen (yes, men) to elegantly slip elegant shoes on my elegant feet, I'd be happy. However, life is not an elegant Fred Astaire movie, now, is it?

So, I wistfully dream of the day when a master shoe craftsman (yes, man) will come to me and beg me to allow him to make shoes for my perfect, slender, little feet. He will lovingly slip the final product onto my ever-so-slightly trembling feet and we will both know that anything is possible. Anything, that is, as long as your shoes don't pinch.

Today's Favorite Shoe:

Will's Fancy Calla

Suz, 10N

SHOE EMERGENCY!

Today, I had that most unfortunate of occurences - the shoe emergency. I know you are all on the edge of your seats, wondering just what went amiss.

I had just disembarked from the train, and was heading to the ladies room. As I walked across the terminal, I suddenly found myself slipping and sliding, flailing my arms about in a most amusing manner to the travelers who were seated and watching my progress. Happily, I did not fall, but I did look like an ass. Upon reaching the relative safety of the ladies room, I removed the offending shoe (an adorable black, pointy toe-d, kitten heeled pump) to see whether the problem was me or the floor. It was me. My poor shoe had lost its little plastic heel, and the metal pin was all that was left. No wonder I slipped!

What to do? There was nothing for it but to put the shoe back on, and make my way back across the terminal as best I could to my subway train. This was accomplished with no further incident, by mincing across the floor on the balls of my feet. Once I got off the subway at 23rd Street, I made my way directly down the block to the cobbler, who, upon hearing my dilemma, repaired the heels for the sum of $8.50.

The moral of the story? There are two. One, know where the closest cobbler is. Two, check your shoes for wear and tear BEFORE you put them on for the day.

Na Na 'Tapan' Pump

Liesl, 7N

Like any lover of fashion, I watch the Oscars every year. I used to have to skip the preshow since the most annoying two women on the planet had a lock on hosting it, Joan and Melissa Rivers. It was a banner day in the McQ household when they were booted. I'm sure they were booted with a nice pair of Uggs to soften the humiliation. Anyway...

I am always perturbed by the lack of coverage on the shoes under the beautiful gowns. The Stuart Weitzman shoe is always highlighted but that's the only one I've ever seen particularly respected. It's time for that to change.

Look, I know it's mostly about the gowns; they are the most visible, the largest thing your eye would go to, especially this year in Charlize Theron's case, but come on! The shoes need some respect, too. Think of how much better it would have been if someone had just panned down to Charlize Theron's shoes rather than focusing on that godawful bow.

What treasures lurk beneath those reams of silk and chiffon? Are they secretly wearing Pumas? Was Sandra Bullock wearing granny flats so as not to upstage Keanu Reeves? Was Jessica Alba wearing most of her weight on her feet? God knows she isn't wearing it anywhere else. Would we be shunning Isaac Mizrahi now if he had touched Scarlett Johansson's feet instead of her boob?

My point is this: Give the shoes a little more respect and we will all lead happier, healthier and wealthier lives. And no one will ever again have to wash their mind out with bleach after watching Isaac cop a feel.

Today's Favorite Shoe:

Isaac Mizrahi Stellare

Suz, 10N

Oscar shoe fashion. What is it? Where is it? The gowns have been done to death. Let's face it - the shoe should have equal billing to the gowns. If not more. It's unfortunate that so many women wear gowns that hide their shoes. They could be wearing Birks underneath for all we know! THE HORROR.

I've been perusing the web, attempting to find pictures of the shoes that were worn. So far, I've come up with this:

http://www.oscar.com/oscarnight/redcarpet/2911.html

Those shoes rock. The gown? Notsomuch. But the shoes! They are fabulous!

So I've just spent some time looking for more pictures of Oscar shoes. They are few and far between, I'm afraid. How disappointing. The shoes make the dress, people. If you are wearing bad shoes, your dress won't look right.

We can look at Stuart Weitzman's Oscar shoe though. It's gorgeous.

http://www.stuartweitzman.com/inside/whatsnew.asp

I wish he'd design a shoe for me. Hint. Hint.

Today's shoe:

Linea Paolo 'Maisey' Mule

Suz, 10N

First, I must apologize for my tardiness in updating. Life has been in the way. While it certainly should not take precedence over shoes, sometimes, it cannot be avoided.

That said, I must discuss the poor shoe choices I've seen over the past week. Liesl has already contributed, and I shall do the same. Hereafter, this will be an ongoing feature of our blog. We call it:

WWIMD? (What Would Imelda Marcos Do?)

My first culprit:

I was waiting for my train to arrive. It was 8:30 AM. It was bright, sunny, and very, very cold. Very cold. It is March in New York after all, and I live north of the city, where it is often a good 10-15 degrees colder than in Manhattan. This woman appears. I see her often. She irritates me. She has one of those grating, nasally NY accents, and always speaks at a high volume. But I digress. It is her footwear I want to discuss. Slides. 2 1/2" heel slides. As in sandals. As in summer. Worn with, you guessed it, pantyhose. How she didn't break her leg slipping around on them, I don't know. So there was this vision - a bulky down coat, scarf, mittens and summer sandals.

PEOPLE. Use your head.

My second culprit:

This sighting was just last night on 6th Avenue and 22nd Street. There were a lot of things wrong - I think the shoes might have been the least of this woman's problems.

Helmet hair
Faux leopard swing coat
Leopard leggings

The shoes? Loafers.

Lady, if you're going to dress like a slut, at least wear the right shoes. That outfit was begging for very, very high heels. Either wedges or stiletto's.


Today's Shoe:

Marc Jacobs '663155 Flat'

Liesl, 7N

Suz jinxed me the other day before I left for work. She told me about a bad shoe faux pas which, in turn, made me run into a young lady with a worse shoe faux pas. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it is time for the bad shoe decision round up.

I live in Dallas where most people are pretty good about their footwear choices. However, as I was walking across campus on Wednesday I saw a young woman wearing a short black skirt, black stockings, and... oh the horror of it.... WHITE PUMPS. Madonna singing Like A Virgin on the MTV Video Music Awards white pumps. Why on god's green earth would anyone think that white pumps look good? Why?

I'm not talking about tasteful, understated white pumps, or even off white pumps. No, no. I am talking about the bright, cheap looking pumps that were somehow popular in the 80s. Madonna looked trashy in them in 1984 and anyone who wears them now will look trashy. Do you think Manolo will ever make a pair of white pumps and sell them at Neiman's? No! Would you ever see Audrey Hepburn in a pair of white pumps? No! Would you ever see Coco Chanel in white pumps? No! Will you ever see me in a pair of white pumps? HELL NO!

Do you think I should have tapped this young woman on the shoulder, pointed at her feet and shook my head with a disapproving look on my face?

Today's favorite shoe:

Yves Saint Laurent Linen Slingback

Liesl, 7N

I want to know who the first woman was who thought it was ok to wear stockings with sandals. Who is this woman of very bad judgment? Did she think she was fooling everyone? Hey look! my tan extends down to my toes which are oddly fused together! Seam? What seam? No, just NO.

I think this stockings with sandals epidemic has reached new heights of wrongness lately. What makes me state that? The fact that they now make stockings with toes that are cut out so that you can wear them with sandals without looking like it. Again, who is this fooling? The only women who have perfectly smooth, tanned legs and feet are models in magazines. Want to know why? Do you? Because they're air brushed! No, just NO.

If you are going to wear a fabulous pair of sandals why would you ruin the effect with a $2 pair of stockings? Liberate your toes, ladies! Oh, and don't forget to get a pedicure before venturing into sandaland.

Today's favorite shoe:

Nicole Miller Fedora